Hash 1494 was Minja's last run before her turtle tickling job begins.

To help her out she brought along 3 virgin friends to try their hand at hashing. Barely had the hash left the village and took to the farm track than it met its first stile. The up-down leg-over movement caused much delay and hilarity amongst the Hash as all had to cross, including Millispeed who was passed over the wooden impediment with ease.

Lulu found a quicker way by leg-striding over the string of barbed wire that topped the fence. At the hold-check Count Roadkill set off towards the trees, but Gonereal legged it over another stile and found the trail towards the track. Nanny-in-waiting Golden Globes found that her sash was more hinder than help so she disrobed in order to sashay along quicker.

There were actually 2 flour trails to follow, and thankfully the correct one was chosen, as the other led a long, long way away towards the McDonald's eaterie on the A5. I am always perturbed why an establishment with such a Scottish name doesn't sell haggis, but enough of that.

The correct route traversed many more stiles, with callipygous virgins making the most memorable sight of the day. Bangers cut his finger on some fencing wire, but was nursed with a plaster from Double Entry. Rapid declined the direct route over a ploughed field, in favour of the field edge that ultimately led to the ON INN and The Queens Head. Many thanks to the new landlord who provided a good selection of beers as well as bowls of sausage and chips which Cyclopath had paid for in kind.

Leroy entertained the drinkers by combining his ukulele strumming with the mellifluous mandolin playing of his musician friend. At the bar both Apres Attendees Pussies Galore and Blow Felt looked recovered from their Iberian sojourn.

Minja hugged everybody goodbye. If I was a turtle I would throw myself on my back just to be tickled. Boy, are we gonna miss Minja, and how she will last 2 years without her cock.

Cyclopath had the look of a forlorn mother at a school gate waving goodbye but secretly looking forward to opening the gin once home again.

Next week will be at Bangers Bowling Club with a hash followed by lunch and rounded off with croquet/bowls. As Minjas flight for Turks & Cacos leaves next Sunday at the same time, listen hard for the on-on call from the sky.

Forkin'