A gorgeous summer evening in the Star and Garter car park saw an impressive turn out of Hashers. The tone was lowered by the arrival of Forking who had barely driven into the car park and was already waggling his cock out of the window!

No sooner had Subby, Lost Cause and Nik Nak entered the car park just in time for the On Out, the rest were off to find the trail. A slightly confusing start for the pack as the Hares used bars instead of T's (sorry), but thanks to Double Entry's explanation both Hares are now fully aware of the difference!

Pecker nearly made it to Wrest Park before re-joining the pack in the right direction. All made it through the streets of Silsoe and past the Horticultural Centre where Forking was mumbling about readjusting his cock. Readjustments made, Forking ran the rest of the trail with two feet of his cock sticking out of his shorts!

Further on, Rapid caught Minja drawing a not-to-scale cock to signal the path for men, with the ladies route already marked. Forking, The Count, and Knobber decided to take the ladies route, and either mis-understood boobs for balls or wanted to show their feminine sides [gender fluid to you young lady ... ed]. Everyone re-grouped and enjoyed the viewpoint from the beautifully carved Buzzard and Kite bench.

Following the trail around the fields of Beaumont Farm, we learnt about the Beaumont Tree and its hairy toenail custom. Lulu guessed the correct meaning of HF - Historical Fact, and received his own HF, a high five! Hats off to Pecker who stood in for Depth Charge and took charge of all the run backs, closely followed by Lulu and Captain F. Church bells were ringing to welcome us back, in true English country style.

Apologies for lack of snacks, slow service and no sniff of any meat at the raffle. Maybe we'll meet elusive landlord Dan next time? Hope Forking survived his journey home with his rumbly belly. In true Hash fashion the circle up was a very jolly one with an award for Golden Globes receiving a gorgeous golden wine goblet for reaching 100 runs. Down downs for Newbee Ian brought to us by Blow Felt, Ringer celebrating 47 years or blissful marriage with Ring-her [very good ... ed], Blow Felt for becoming a great Grandfather to 7lb 8oz Evelyn, one for gullible Pecker and one for Lulu and Forking, just because?

Just when we thought the fun was over Clap Trap generously distributed his enormous courgettes to impressed Hashers, with Gorjoyce proudly holding her 'member' of the squash family [i like your work there too ... ed]!

A huge thank you from Cyclopath to the Hashers who kindly supported her 1 million step challenge, raising money for Diabetes UK.

On-on to our last 7.30pm Monday night run at the Motte & Bailey in Pirton with Catch IT and Claptrap.

Minja Turtle & Cyclopath