Well, that went well didn't it?

Lady P fancied being a Hare but didn't seem to have much time before the date she selected. So it was up to The Count to come up with a venue. Remembering what a good time he had under his heroine, Double Entry, at 1337 I went for the pub at Cotton End. Heroine she may be but there's no need to follow the Great Harriette's example and reccy 4 times is there? Well not unless you want the run to go smoothly anyway. Thursday evening to make sure the pub is open is fine...

Well, that went well didn't it?

There was a distinct feeling of "building site" about the whole village and especially the area opposite the pub [we had alternative views of what they are building but it is a massive primary school catering for up to 630 kids: Cotton End has a population of 800. Still, it's handy for the pub]. Of course being a Stubborn Old Git there wasn't a chance of switching venues. Just check out the route, same as last time but in reverse...

Well, that went well didn't it?

First of all the footpath gate to Shocott Spring was locked shut but surely the building contractors would remember to unlock it for Sunday. Next check that final loop, added by Bangers last time out to pad out the trail. But that lane is now well and truly closed. There's bound to be another entrance to Shocott to add a bit of length, I'll check it...

Well, that went well didn't it?

Well no, there isn't another route into Shocott, but after 3 miles walking I think I have another route to the South and East of the Bell, and it might well work despite a WARNING notice from the British Horse Society that 170 riders will be taking part in a sponsored ride somewhere on that route on 7 October, and far be it from me to upset our Horsey Pals. I ploughed on and took a track I knew would lead me home and complete my new trail ...

Well, that went well didn't it?

The track lead to a ditch deeper even than Blow Felt. Climbing through it, and back to the pub for a pint with 7 miles on the clock I knew this would need a rethink, but first must confirm I mis-read the sign that said something about road closures but I'm not sure of the date...

Well, that went well didn't it?

There was a casually placed sign saying "this road closed 7 October" in Shortstown but there is no sign to indicate where the road closure ends – before or after Cotton End – or indeed if "this road" is the A600. A quick check on the BBC roadworks website indicates SFA as does a longer check. Enquiries of the British Horse Society are similarly helpful. It's going to rain on Saturday. What they are getting is an email warning of the road closure and as long a trail as I can arrange around Shocott.

And on Friday that plan was followed, I laid the trail dust extra thick to allow for rain damage, on a trail zig-zagging round the Spring and talked to the man in the van carrying the road closed signs: he said the road closure was to the north and access from the south to The Bell was fine. Even if he was wrong, hashers find a way...

Well, that went well didn't it?

On the day it turned out all road access to Cotton End was closed off except to those who could talk their way in. This did not include for various reasons Capt Fantaaastic, Knobber and H5 Legend Penetrator (though all 3 appeared later). The trail had clearly been laid in self erasing flour and completely disappeared at the first sign of rain. But good old H5 rallied round and great sports like Double Entry, Catch It, Clap Trap, Rapid Withdrawal, Bell End Too, Cyclopath, Bangers and many more put a positive spin on things, had a laugh and a beer, and I think we all had a day to remember, capped off well by Lady P's Belgian Fruit Cake and that very special appearance of our visitor from Cornwall.

Thanks for listening and I'm much obliged to Knobber for giving the circle a much more detailed and in-depth analysis of how wrong the Hares got it than I have had time or space to attempt.

ON ON to Hooton Regis with the much more efficient and hopefully lucky Bangers n Madge

THE COUNT