Sunday 4pm, Courtesan collected Capn F, and Knobber tagged along too as he happened to be around. Armed with only a single blobbing device between them, they set about laying the run from the Greyhound. Courtesan took pictures as an aide memoire in case of getting lost, sometimes leaping out from behind trees to surprise the other Hares.

Monday 7.30pm, Nik Nak called the 20-strong circle to order, and welcomed Wimp and Calamity, who were visiting us from Cambridge Hash, but revealed that they were confused about their hashualities and could be considering Hash reassignment, but for the moment were experimenting as transhashuals to see how they got on. Very sensible.

The trail began with the traditional Capn F check outside the pub, and falsies up and down Northwood End Road, before disappearing northwards into the fields, where Rapid was waiting for us, dressed like a scarecrow. Also at this point, Hairy Gussett appeared, with legs covered in hair removal cream. That was whilst the words were being written, not during the run, or according to Rapid's GPS recording, which the former sentence refers to. [Does anyone understand this? – Dep Scribe]

From there, and after a couple more falsies in the fields, Shaggy led the pack back along Northwood End Road, and past some very nice houses, whilst Wimp with labrador Sam found the real trail down the fields on the other side of the road, and ran all the way down to the bar at the bottom. Meanwhile, the remainder of the pack had found its way along the ridge that would take it to the next loop of the trail, and the front runners Blofelt, Catch it and Custard had fallen victim to the hare's cunning "numbers to the back" along the way.

A held check at the other end of the ridge was released, and disgorged hashers along various false trails, before Subby found the trail along Church End Road and off into the fields again, where a strange, high pitched whistle, followed by an angry shout, repeatedly pervaded the cool night air. Ringer warily checked the sky, looking for green trails coming from Mars. Clap Trap could offer no scientific explanation. Blofelt made a note of it all, for later. What could it be that was disturbing the peaceful, yet eery atmosphere of the Bedfordshire countryside? As it persisted, the pack began to realise that they had heard this awful noise many times before. It was Frau, trying to get her dog back from chasing rabbits in the fields. Naughty Rudy.

It was along the climb back up into the village that the FRBs Lady Tarzan, Globes, Double Entry and Calamity happened across another horror – the dreaded Infinity Symbol – denoting Capn F's clever "shuttle run". As they modulated, the trailing pack caught up and after a couple of false trails in the houses, advanced down Plummers Lane, again past some very nice properties where with a view like that you don't need a big garden, back to the bottom of the same ridge that brought us here in the first place.

Under time pressure of Ringer's strict instruction to be in by 8.30pm or not be allowed out next week, the pack made its way back over the fields and past the On Inn, except that the Hares had discovered fruit trees, including greengages, and had put a check at that point. Otherwise, it was back onto Northwood End Road, and turn right for the Greyhound and beer, but they don't do food on Mondays.

In the circle, down downs went to the Hares, and Knobber for not starting with the rest of the pack due to talking with Lady P about important information regarding the Montenegro trip. Frau took a down down for the Rudy thing, along with Bangers, Forking and Spotted Dick, for not appearing in the Wurdz. Blofelt joined in a drink with our visitors Wimp and Calamity, who were most welcome and will hopefully run with us again.

On On

Capn F, Courtesan & Knbbr