With the recent rise in crime in the Toddington area, we would like the public's assistance this week to help solve a number of crimes committed.
Firstly we have a horrible crime of demanding money with menace. Our chief suspect is Catch It, who on first appearances may be a quiet unassuming lady (!), but we have recent intelligence that she has now taken the reigns from the crime family headed by the notorious Blow Felt, who along with Count Roadkill are subject to a warrant for money laundering.
Our second case is one of identity theft. Despite taking numerous precautions, Claptrap found himself a victim of this crime and was repeatedly referred to as Catch It, by those who really should know better (eh Catch It). Fortunately we had the representative from the Bedfordshire Neighbourhood watch, Edwina 123 on hand and on this occasion the watch was correctly set for BST.
Illegal immigrants are still a problem in the area so please join Double Entry on one of her regular patrols where she is supported by local residents who always keep a watchful eye.
We would also like your help to find a missing person. Forking was last seen in the Mansfield area having accidentally getting on the wrong bus after a rare L*t*n victory. Local barbers have been alerted. Bangers has offered a reward if he stays there.
With the rise in recreational drugs, we would appeal for help in tackling the rise in the use of cake, especially the Italian version of pannettone. With a low price on the street this is now proving to be addictive for those in all walks of life and Count Roadkill has recently checked into the Jordans clinic. Please help to remove cake from the streets and tackle the threat from the Hash Bakers who are a known front for charitable donations.
You may not think that busking is a serious crime, but do not be fooled. Leroy is the master of distraction and be aware when he asks you to hang up your ukulele.
There was something very fishy at the end of the trail, but this proved to be the soup provided by Golden Globes in celebration of her birthday. She is looking forward to picking up her bus pass this week.
That's it for this week, so until next time keep 'em peeled!
See you all next Sunday from the Live and Let Live at the normal time of 11am with Catch It and Claptrap setting the trail. .