Before Rapid's Wurdz he brings you a secret recording of Capt F bringing out the down-down beers:

The normal trail from the Compasses sets off across Flitwick Moor, Route A as Pongo might describe. Bangers has previously broken that tradition by heading out the back of the pub to Pulloxhill, so for this hash my plan was to mix the two. Having checked a suitable trail a month or two back, Blow Felt and Courtesan subsequently declared The Crown as the venue for 1394, so a quick conflab was need to ensure there was no duplication of trails. Fortunately, we were all OK, so the trail was set first thing Sunday morning and all was good to go by 10:30am.

So imagine my surprise when Nik Nak arrived 30 mins early – Has this EVER happened before? Some excuse of acquiring wood for Leroy was proffered, definitely worthy of a Down Down. Normal service was resumed, the circle called and the pack headed off, finding the trail down the road before the bar led them to the footpath to the fields. The Count must have left his exemption card behind as he was spotted running false trails whereas Forking should have gone to Specsavers. Having missed at least 2 number checks, DE commented that he should be used to low scores being a L*t*n fan (although they did score 5 on Saturday against the well fancied Gateshead team of builders, plumbers and bank clerks).

The trail continued past a static travellers site, safely across and along the road and up to the river Flit. Lady P found the false trail from the Lady's check, before we headed towards and past The Crown. This confused Golden Globes who thought it was On Inn. A number of the group took the opportunity of a short cut past the mill, which had already been checked and found to be false by the FRBs, but Leroy refused, insisting on following the full trail and then getting lost. Fortunately Wet Wipe was on hand to sniff out the trail. As we headed towards the woods a dog walker commented on the RA's Cock in Knobber's hand asking if he had run it over. No, he replied, just plucked it.

All were safely returned in around an hour and we retired to the pub for tea cake (courtesy of Lady P) and beer. The Down Downs were purchased and Capt F had a horrible moment where a minor earth tremor caused the drinks to fall on the floor (or Capt F is a clumsy oaf – you decide). All was lost so drinks were repurchased and the circle called.

With the HM providing a list of viable excuses for not following etiquette, RA Blow Felt then stepped in to award drinks to Golden Globes for her continuing Bedfordshire tour of innuendos – this week she had moved on from a bit on the side to desiring full on layers – Nik Nak for timekeeping and Forking for his number avoidance. Skippy and Splashy shared their lovely singing voices, but Subby may not want to invite them to lead the school recital. The cock was awarded to Capt F, so he could continue to feel a cock next week and in the tradition of recent RAs a self awarded Down Down was made for no real reason.

Next week we have another Leroy trail from the Black Lion in Leighton Buzzard. Try not to be late, as he probably will be! In the meantime, don't forget Posh Nosh.

On On.

Rapid