Run 1381

Monday 14 August 2017

The Plough, Wingfield

Hare: Rapid Withdrawal


Nik-Nak returns from Oz with posh manicure

Queueing for a cunning '4-to-the-back' check located on the far side of the stile

Princess Samantha: "They're fairy steps"

Two anniversaries: 45 and 41 yrs respectively

A-Bs: Kingsley and Samantha

I can't see you, so you can't see me

D-Ds for Bell End & Ringer: But why? RA Forkin' loses the plot...again

Blowfelt was as confused as the rest of us

Nik-Nak celebrates UK return with a Bali Hash shirt...and the H5 bog seat

When offerings had been collected by master of coin Blowfelt, the Ceremony of the circle was called by returning mage Nik Nak, who had failed to meet others on her pilgrimage, but returned with a token from afar. With no name day celebrations but 2 anniversaries, the pack were addressed by pathfinder Rapid who advised of no impediments on the (short) journey to enlightenment.

With vigour, enthusiasm and commitment, the travelers checked out all the wrong paths, but Golden Globes, basking in the enlightenment of the hare, led the way to the promised bounty (beer). Alas for some, the path was not to be straight, narrow or just: the signs as interpreted by the very reverend Capt F compelled him and 3 fellow travelers to return across the Wingfield stile to reflect on their sins.

Leading to the church of All Saints (strange to name a religious meeting place after a girl band...) the pack came across other pilgrims who peacefully crossed paths with a wave of a relic (bog seat) continuing their journey in a mechanical beast. The route continued without ado until Princess Samantha, aided by Seer Forking found the fairy steps leading to the home of the Chalgrave collective of small people. Whilst our own Blowfelt would have been made most welcome, this was not to be the destination for today.

Past the old manor house and down the dirt track Ringer found his way barred forcing him to return and trek across the field of enchanted horses. Equine ability to see spirits is well recorded in lore, and the lead horse attempted to release the soul trapped in Millie, but with the enchantment of "bugger off you brute" Bangers protected his charge, forcing Horse Whisperer extraordinaire Double Entry to calm the beast with secret incantations.

With the sun setting, it was time to face the fields where demons are beaten with clubs. Many lost their path here, no doubt tempted by the promise of prosecco as served to the unbelievers of the club house. But the path prevailed and the lost souls rejoined the group with much rejoicing and shouting of "On On".

Returning via the same out path, refreshments were purchased from the jolly barman and many a story was told as crumble, baked by Lady P was provided as an offering to the poor and needy (They must be very poor, based upon the collection in the charity box!).

The closing ceremony was called, the anniversaries were celebrated, Sage Pongo commented on the scenery from the journey and Seer Forking shared his visions with his devoted followers. Speaking using a language only known to a few, he called upon wrongdoers and chastised them for their sins. He awarded trinkets to those in need, including the pathfinder and the mage, to ensure safe travels in the future.

It was especially noted that Capt F and Tarzan were abstaining from alcohol, for they too have been granted visions from their recent retreat across the channel. Having heard of Seer Forking’s nocturnal wanderings through dimly lit rooms, they wanted no part of this witchcraft.

With the moon rising the pack were dismissed and returned to their toils in the fields of Bedfordshire and beyond, preparing for the next uneventful journey.

Here endeth the wurdz of Hash 1381 recorded on this day in the year of the Funky Gibbon.

But before you go, don’t forget that Knobber, DE, and Bell End have requested that you are all pumped up and lubricated ready for the Cycle Bash on Sunday 20th August at 10am from the Danish Camp Willington.

Rapid W