It was the morning after 'erection' night. If hashers thought they had overexerted themselves then, they had yet to find their way through the maze in Shocott Spring, where most of the trail lay.
Having taken some antihistamines to help with her allergy to haring, Double Entry (DE) made a rare appearance alongside experts in the field Bangers and Millie.
At first DE felt reassured as a number of items on her haring checklist were accomplished:
(i) to hash from a new venue or location (tick, well done Bangers)
(ii) to recce the route several times beforehand (tick)
(iii) to have a runners loop at the end, with short cut for knitting circle (tick)
(iv) no rain forecast to wash away the flour (tick – down to luck rather than an RA, as H5 were still in administration at the time of laying).
However normally the paths used in the dress rehearsals are those used on the day (big cross), DE's anxiety levels begin to rise. Would the hares remember the way? But there was nothing to fear.
Nik Nak, our new Hash Mattress, came on time. However her fellow HM, Ringer, thinks this won't last long as he announces he plans to always [always as in this week: Dep Ed] do the opening, and leave her to do the closing (circle).
It was On Out and DE & Bangers were pleased that all false trails were taken. The bamboozled bunch – it doesn't take much these days – eventually worked out they needed to cross the road...and we were off.
Checks were put near benches – it wasn't thought the so called 'athletes' would need to take up the offer but they were found to be sitting at every stop! It is at one of these seating places that the new hash accessory became apparent, as endorsed by Subby and Frau. Not only the latest in fashion, so we were told, but with the added advantage of doubling up as a hand warmer, these 'filled poo bags' come in a variety of colours...see Lady P to order yours.
There were twists and turns everywhere, bewildered dog walkers meeting us time and time again. Bangers remarked he'd never used so much flour setting a trail before. Most of the markings were still there, strange how the few faint ones were numbers to the back which the FRBs couldn't read?!
The maze was successfully completed...'a-maz-ing' the Tit was heard to say, Peachers Tit that is. The Hangars were seen, but unfortunately no Airlander 10 airship due to it recently crashing on its second test flight.
Back at the pub the landlady was most welcoming and kindly provided bar snacks. Lady P had been busy baking a cake. There was a table full of jams and pickles for sale in the corner, surely they weren't undercutting Gorjoyce? Undeterred she was found scrumping down the lane by the side of the pub.
Time to circle up with our fool, sorry Jester, Rapid as RA. Down Downs were awarded to: Subby for telling everyone about Rapid's noisy bottom and Golden Globes for sharing how good Rapid looks in stockings – actually you can decide that for yourself as she has kindly supplied a photo (WARNING: THIS IS NSFW AND DEFINITELY NOT FOR THE FAINT-HEARTED).
Also drinks to Atomic for using her phone, Count for calling Underlay a 'deaf berk', Kisses for admiring Blow Felt's legs and Frau for having a 'bouncy and playful' partner – alas not Shuffle. Ringer had been heard asking "Why can't people greet each other like that?" as he watched Rudy meet a play mate. However he may not have seen all of the greeting ritual, or perhaps he had! Millie was seen eagerly admiring Rapid's Rod but this was awarded to Count – it seems the RA was dubious of the boastful comments he'd made earlier about length.
Finally congratulations to Capt F and Tarzan on their anniversary, and an apology from DE for saying Capt F looked like a gnome.
The circle ended with a few words from our new GM, Pongo.
On On to Eaton Bray next week.
From Double Entry, Bangers and Millie