It's the first week of the Skool Hols, yippee, but teecher scribe demands a thousand words essay! [but only got 441: Dep Scribe]. At least Rapid got his sickie in early as he was downing lemsips at home, rather than the 4 guest ales at the bar of the Maypole Farm. An unconventional gastro-pub for a hash, more Hungry Horse than Crazy Horse. With a car-park more full than empty on a Monday night it might also be a popular venue for the latest craze known to the world as Pokemon-Go.

Double Entry put her marker down in the competitive car-parking challenge. Captain F then parallel parked next to her with such laser precision that only an Atomic scientist could measure. Present in the circle were the birthday ladies Catch-it and Gorjoyce, who between them have a combined age of slightly north of 42.

The hash set off at a dazzling pace [really? Dep Scribe] before disappearing deep down into the underpass. Depth Charge was first to emerge into the sunlit uplands of the Marston Vale forest. There were falsies, tracks, trails and trees. The early promenade was around a very scenic lake. This pond wasn't quite big enough to float the yacht of Sir BHS, but according to Claptrap was about the size of the on-board swimming pool. On the bridge to nowhere, Depth Charge again found another long false trail. However it was that athletic octogenarian, Blow-Felt who correctly spotted the markings laid in a wholemeal flour, slightly more grainy and dull than the doughy white stuff we are so used to spotting a mile off. Bangers and Milly explored another falsie but soon returned.

There was then a totemic beer challenge with a can of booze about 10 foot high [10 foot off the ground that is, not a 10 foot can of beer: Dep Scribe]. Not to be confused with pole-dancing it was Scuba-Doo who pulled off the mounting. Ringer played the part of David Bailey with a stunning shot of the capture. At this point the runners took the long way back, led by Captain Fantaaaastic who Depth Charged home towards the pub. Major Jon walked the knitting circle the short way back for drinks.

According to Depth Charge the trail was only 8.5 km long, but many in a 12 mile queue near Dover would settle for that. Water handed out was plenty for many harriets to drink, but credit to Nik Nak for later reprimanding the barman for failing to provide lemonade, and she came back from the bar with coins in her hand. At least that's how she said she earned them. Credit also to Edwina 123 for using his local knowledge to avoid the wet bits of Marsh Leys.

On on to Gorjoyce's 70th mad hatters tea party.