Sunday 22 November 2015
Victoria Arms, Wilden
Hares: The Count and Double Entry
HASHERS: 18 MUTTS: 3
Blow Felt tries the latest in cattle handling pens ...
Rapid's 300 run award: only 7 months late
RA takes Hashit for forgetfulism
When you get to my age – how often are we hearing that in H5? – you tend to become follicularly challenged, perhaps a little taller than your hair. There are clinics, there are drugs, there are guaranteed cures. At present I am trying Diversion Therapy. A little hair under the nose to divert attention from what is not happening on top.
But the full cruelty of this issue hit me trail-laying for 1288 when I found myself on a hill above Wilden with a bitter North Wind blowing. A lone uncombable Hare. To be fair Lady Pee had some Lady Friends who urgently needed lunching in London Town Oh, and these people don't lunch themselves you know. But back in wild and windy Wilden what was really getting my goatee was a personal dispute, with local landowners determined to obliterate any reference to footpaths on their patch.
So there you have it. The two excuses I gave the hash, on a lovely clear, bright, frosty morning, for leaving them short of a full trail before letting them skip off with low expectations and the expert guidance of Double Entry. I was well aware that DE had recently lain (or should that be been laid?) north of The Victoria Arms and should have known she would therefore also be an expert on all footpaths that exist and do not exist to the south. So from the off it was the DE Show as she guided the pack more expertly than the dozens of missing footpath signs could have, and thoroughly deserved the haring credit she has been given above.
Brambles, shiggy, cattle pens and a rare mating ritual involving Blow Felt and Bangers, were all shrugged off as we made it round the course in good time, and I'm sure Thongo would have rated it one of the best two runs from Wilden this year, had he been there.
In the circle Lady P redeemed herself with a superb apple-and-lots-of-other-things cake, which Twiczer thought would go down well with a cup of coffee .... when will we have an ice block for these people RA? Shagpile struggled to remember the various "isms" that he accused hashers of displaying, and would you believe it I've forgotten them too. I do remember that DE was one that he forgot (clever dickism – knowing the trail better than the hare) and so he did a Forking and awarded himself a down-down – plus the Hashit.
Talking of forgetfulism: the Hasherdabbery/ Counting Department had to grovel in apology to Rapid Withdrawal when presenting him with his award for 300 runs. It was way of date. Why not check your Run Count? Figures do appear on this website. Can you find them?
ON ON to Eversholt
... before engaging in an act of unbridled depravity with Bangers
Hot Shot guilty of a nasty ism
Next we'll be singing Jerusalem in the circle