Run 1251

Sunday 22 March 2015

The Heath Inn, Heath and Reach

Hare: Leroy

HASHERS: 18  APRES: 3  MUTTS: 3

Leroy & Wet Wipe's Run Report (Sponsored by Peck Slavers Wot NO FLOUR!) from The Heath Inn Leighton Buzzard (Interestingly was called The Cock Inn should have been The cock Up!) Featuring Virtual Hares – Rapid and Sh*t Hot

I was there, 07:15 Sunday morning, you might argue only fifteen minutes from my home but it's a Sunday so fair play for effort (+10). Wet Wipe and I laid fantastic trail and went home for tea and banana toast, then returned with Sh*t Hot to R*n, sofa so good, (+15). After that it all went T*ts Up, Downhill, Up Hill, Pear shaped or wotever! You all had a Bad Hair Day! (-10). The thing is, you have to observe the rooles and every Hasher knows the first roole of Hashin is, there are no rooles!, But obviously I ain't quite got the hang of it yet as a newie to H5 (-10 or so!).

On out, and the pack set off chasing a Falsie, much to my satisfaction, (+10) then found the On on a slight uphill (+10 more!), then it all went downhill! With much chasing of tails and ghosts! (-10ish!). Double E and I were chatting, (+2000-000!), she told me, "We went up that False because there was flour, then there wasn't!" (+10. Err!). "So you went on?" "yes" "why?" "Because there wasn't any more flour!" "So why didn't you come back?" "Because there wasn't any flour, Flour!" "I, Appen, Flour" "so there was no flour, so you went on, why Flour?" "Cos there weren't a bar Flour" "Oh I see, so there was no bar and no flour Flour, so you carried on Flour "I, Appen?" Then Wot Flour?" "Well, we came back Flour" "Why Flour" "Because, there wasn't any more flour Flour" "Oh I see?" (Doh!) (-10 more!) [have we had wurdz written on hallucinagens since my little pony? .. scribe]

Not far from the On Inn Lady P was grateful for a slight assistance upt 'ill from moi, but that's her all over, an after all, a hills only a flat bit with a slope. The Count (Withanhoe) was on form, at the last hold check, saying "So what time does the pub shut then Leroy?"(along with others!) Cor!, talk about sarcastic! (+10 to me!) We were only ten minutes over time, (-1!) and only an hour back to the pub! (-10ish or so!). Clap Trap an I were observin' blobs after everybody else (Blow Felt and Pussies) couldn't find em (-10 each!). Clappers an I we were on the on inn, and Clappers says to me, "I see you were getting rid of the flour at this stage Leroy, so you didn't have to carry it back! To the pub", Oh I see, I carry it all the way round, then dump it at the end of the trail, du ya know, only Leroy wouldn't have thought of dumping it at the start of the trail! (-20).

Underlay explored every False with great flair, gusto and enthusiasm, wot a fine example to the rest of the pack (without the slightest hint of a Whinge !) and Bangersse' Dogs Home and Millyspeed were well up for it along with Ringer an Rapid the dynamic duo, exploring every alternative apart from the On (+200!!!)

We don't even mention the Circle, My Virtual Hairs Sh*t hot & Rapid wouldn't take a down down (-20) and if looks could kill. Well! I was Carpeted by Shagpile (- 2000- million!) whilst trying to delegate a downer "tip it on yer ed", they said, Wot real beer! (+1OO!) Your avin a laugh thinks I, but my young an lovely Monogamous stepped in and saved the day and my principles by giving a fine exhibition of how it should be done, and sunk the downer in one swallow, and I even got Stick for that! (-500 more!).

So Wet Wipe and I, tails firmly fixed between our respective legs, went back to the bar (+200!). Christ it was lonely (-200!), everybody else had eaten and Fu*ked off! (- 400!) That'll bode well for goodies for the next Hash from there! (-5000!) My next H5 trail will, I've decided (If I get another go at it (-100)) will be a short stroll round the car park and straight back inside, (+10,000 as far as HS is concerned) and all the trouble I went to please Gorjoyce and Catch It, with a short trail an all! (+2.5)

Ah well,
On On
Leroy(- Lots!) XXX

[cant stand a whinger can you .. scribe]

How Rapid did 1251