Sunday 1 March 2015
The Five Bells, Stanbridge
Hares: Leroy and Hot Shot
HASHERS: 21 ANKLE BITERS: 2 MUTTS: 3 NEWBEES: 3
Will the real Leroy please ....
Thongo tried to save the elephant
Well what a wonderful turn out for a run so close to our boundaries that G-string questioned weather we were still in England or not; yes we were and the sun shone on the circle. The hash circled up and talked about I know not what because Leroy and myself were met by Double Entry (as she tried to escape from one of the Count's jokes) by the front of the pub (what sort of hare is late for their own trail).
Hot shot gave a short brief telling everyone to expect horses, sheep, shiggy, shiggy and in places more horses and shiggy and then the hash were off with Lady p and Double Entry taking the first False trail. The young ladies caught up and the whole hash minus the hares ran up the next false trail as a group but now they could smell flour and they were off spreading and regrouping they made their way out of the village past their first horse of the day and on to what can only be described as a little bit of shiggy. In the next field Bangers and Leroy were rescuing a sheep from a field full of sheep? (this may be a case for operation oak tree).
On we went and I recount a story to Ringer and Rapid about sending Leroy round a less shiggy path earlier in the day, they tried it and it wasn't. The trail continued and opened up as did the pack we carried on and the frbs ran straight past the trail and on towards the Anchor at Tilsworth. Once back on the trail we ran through a corn field and on to some more horses where Pussies and Blow-Felt were feeling a torn and a prick as they went over a stile. As we neared the end I look back at all the features of the run we will have seen :-
On On till next time.
... step forward for a down-down
The Count sampled a 2012 Chateau Adidas
AND THIS FROM THE OTHER FELLA:
By word of explaining, after the above R*n, an circle an stuff, Count Withanhoe, points (at me an Sh*t Hot) and says "don't forget yer Wurdz" As I have no Internet or Telly, I have no idea wot Wurdz is, so makes the rash assumption that H5 Wurdz is equivalent to a Milton Keynes R*n Report (Milton Keynes being my Home Hash) I have heard of H5 Wurdz because I was listening when Shagpile was recognised with an award for it at Posh Nosh, where Chave an Dazzed were amazing incidentally and nothing much gets past me, except most things!
So to the R*n, Sh*t Hot volunteered me to help him set only his second trail for H5, and I (Kicking and Screaming!) said I would have no problem helping him out, with my massive experience of trail laying it would be a breeze, especially after Sh*t Hot had recced the trail days before and checked out where the non-cooperative farmer had blogged out the public foot paths, Sh*t Hot was obviously having none of that, and simply worked round it. The only problem he could do not much about was his Co-Hare being a bit past it, and the Pack had to put up with Captin Fantasticks' jokes for at least Ten Minutes before the Hair/Hare arrived back at the Venue to start the R*n. DE being a very sensitive Hash person was on the lookout as we the Haires arrived at the on out with Wet Wipe on our first lap, either out of concern for our wellbeing or more likely as an excuse to get away from Captins' Jokes!
The On Out was great but us haires did almost fall asleep waiting at the first Check for the pack to suss out the false trail but I say Smuggly that we achieved 100% (Wot with my experience and Sh*t Hots Good Looks!). I say I almost fell asleep waiting for the pack to return to square one, though Wet Wipe was glad of a snooze before his second lap!
As usual I ended up at the back (can't think why?) and so got involved in the Lost Sheep thing! Chris (Bangers' Son In Law), myself, DE, and Clap-Trap were concerned that this dopy ewe had separated itself from the herd and basically was being a pain in the A*se, we had to get it back to its side of the fence but being a female, it wosn't havin none of it! DE an Clapper rounded it up an we put Wet Wipes lead on it, but all we did was choke it, so I ended up carrying the Soddin Bitch back up the lane two hundred yards to where we assumed it had escaped from, we could be wrong, but we meant well, an basically it weren't in any danger from the road if it stayed the right side of the fence (even if it were the wrong fence!) so well done to all. Seeing DE straddling the afore mentioned wooley-back was worth hanging back for, an Count Withanhoe missed a fab Foto Opportunitity, but as a gentleman I promised DE I wouldn't mention that!
After that to the On Inn, Knobber bu**ered off before the Circle obviously embarrassed by his new over-paid bankers' motor (well rhymes with bankers anyway!) and as it goes I had a good supp courtesy of Sh*t Hot ,down downs and Count Withanhoe all in all, worth the effort of an early Sunday start. Well done to Sh*t Hot for a good Trail (an the pack for cumming all that way in support!)
[Does anyone agree with The Scribe that this week's trail looks like Gaultier's sketch for Madonna's cone-bra?]