Run 1246

Sunday 15 February 2015

Waggon and Horses, Steeple Morden

Hares: Shagpile, Underlay and Atomic Titten

HASHERS: 22  MUTTS: 2

I woke early on Sunday and looked out to see a Red Dawn. I hadn't slept well, and had a scary dream that there was a Red Under My Bed! I was worried I was coming down with Scarlet Fever. Luckily it just turned out that I had a slightly Red Neck. Driving to the hash, I was distracted by a low flying formation of aeroplanes and nearly crashed. Bloody Red Devils! I swerved and nearly ran into an on-coming Red Cross ambulance. The irony!

It was Red Letter Day in Steeple Morden, and a Crimson Tide had descended on The Waggon and Horses. Hashers were resplendent as Scarlet Ladies in every hue of red from Fire Engine through Telephone Box, Maroon, Raspberry to Edwina's spotted Rust. It was the Red Dress Run!

A Thin Red Line was called for, to allow Hash Flash to do his stuff. And following a brief introduction from the Hares, it was On Off as the pack shot off like Tomato Ketchup splattered up a kitchen wall.

The dust had the effect of a Red Rag to a Red Bull [prefer a claret .. ed] on Capt Fantaaastic who charged into the lead, closely followed by Blow Felt doing a brilliant impression of a Red Dwarf. Depth Charge remarked that some of the harriettes looked like rejects from the Hamburg Red Light District, which made Pongo See Red and Lady P, who was wearing borrowed Red Shoes from Dorothy, to blush. Ringer continued to annoy people by singing the tune 'Suck My Kiss' which turns out to be from his favourite group, the Red Hot Chilli Peppers. Five Baah, countered this by bellowing out lustily 'If I Never See Your Face Again', which as we all know was a rotten song by Maroon Five.

Meanwhile the trail was being sought out by the FRBs who lead the pack Red Indian File across a ploughed field causing a build up of Terracotta shiggy on the boots. Gorjoyce wasn't impressed (she'd had a heavy night on the Red Wine) and declared she would catch the next Red Bus that passed! She'd be lucky, but we did see a Red Head driving a Little Red Corvette a bit further on. Thomas and Boris were struggling to keep up at the back. Boris looked wonderful as a sexy firefighter, but what was stuffed up her tunic? Surely not 99 Red Balloons? Thomas muttered some Italian words under his breath. Did he say 'Aldo Moro? I'll have to watch out. I suspect he belongs to the Red Brigade.

Soon the agony was over. Atomic T had done a brilliant job back-haring, like a Teutonic Red Riding Hood. I was so pleased with Underlay's front haring that I picked a Red Apple for her, and with Blood rushing to my head, and my Heart beating madly, declared that my love for her was Like a Red, Red Rose. The Count, who I hardly saw on the run (a right Scarlet Pimpernel) liked this and made a note in his Little Red Book. I'll borrow it from him to read in the autumn – probably it will be Red in October!

On On
Shagpile, Underlay and Atomic T