Run 1244

Sunday 8 February 2015

The Noah's Ark, Shillington

Hare: Captain Fantaaastic

HASHERS: 22  ANKLE BITERS: 2  NEWBEES: 1  MUTTS: 3  APRES: 2

I decided to lay the trail on Sunday morning immediately prior to the actual run.
However, this plan was nearly thwarted when at 4:30 am Tarzan's loan car alarm decided to go off and wake up the neighbourhood. As it turns out this was due to a dead battery which in turn was caused by leaving the parking lights on overnight which apparently are automatically activated if you exit the vehicle without switching off the indicators (damn fiendish these Spanish car manufacturers). So how precisely did this affect me.
1. Our drive way is a LIFO system (i.e. Last-In-First-Out) and Tarzan was last in. This means I could not get to lay the run, until Tarzan's car was fixed.
2. As well as the irritating alarm, the car would not start, due to the aforementioned power drain.
3. We had to wait for the AA to come and sort out the car and I had to wait up until they arrived at 5:30.
4. After starting the car, I had to wait for another hour while the car was running in order to re-energise itself.
5. At 6:30, I couldn't be bothered to go back to bed, so I just twiddled my thumbs until I had to go out and lay the run.
Despite the early morning setback, laying the run was an absolute pleasure due to it being a fabulously sunny, crisp morning and the beautiful scenery that Shillington and the church has to offer.
There was also a very good turn-out which was very pleasing. The run was a classic figure of 8 (well noted by Pongo) with plenty of numbered checks of a new variety that will henceforth be called a "Noahs" check. Basically a "Noahs" check is like a numbered check, but instead of hashers having to loop to the back of the pack individually, they instead have to co-join and loop to the back as couples (i.e. 2 by 2).
As usual, I laid a check right outside the pub. I only do this to incite Shagpile who quite predictably piped up complaining that this is against the rules. Well I say fiddle sticks to that, because as we all know there are no rules, only guidelines.
Most of the run was a blur, but the "Noahs" checks worked very well and the FRBs (most often Underlay & Zebedee) seemed quite happy holding hands as they looped to the back.
Los hipopótamos adoran holgazanear en el lodo (which means Hippos love wallowing in mud). Well it appears that Hashers are quite happy as well, until the mud is so thick on your shoes that you start to struggle to lift up your legs. This was a fate that befell everyone, but poor old Skidmark, Felicia and Farkle were particularly badly afflicted. I am not sure that the girls' shoes are going to be fit for school use ever again. Sorry Skidmark!!!
It was at this point that the mischievous Forking stole the hare's flour bottle and charged off laying a totally spurious trail of his own.
Shillington church sits atop quite a nasty little rise, but is does offer some fantastic views across the beautiful Bedfordshire countryside. However, to take in these views meant that the run took on the characteristics of some of our better known nursery rhymes. The Grand Old Duke of York springs to mind or perhaps Jack and Jill as the pack were led up the hill and back down at least twice.
Unlike my usual runs, which can be notoriously long, this one was pretty much spot on as I reached the car park at precisely 59 mins (not bad for a beginner).
Talking of beginners, I would like to congratulate Gorjoyce for reaching her 600th run, which by my reckoning must equate to in excess of 2,000 miles of hashing.

The closing circle was very confusing to me, most especially when Leroy (the secret assistant RA) started to relate some incongruous story about his daughter who apparently prefers to be called Vicky rather than Victoria (apologies if I have got this wrong, but I was left totally befuddled, confused, perplexed, bewildered and even a bit numb by the end of Leroy's discharge).
Other down-downs were awarded aplenty, but I can only recall a few. The hare got his just reward. Gorjoyce got one for her 600th run achievement, but got at least another two for other nefarious activities. Tarzan received a down-down for jeopardising the hash by nearly preventing the hare from being able to attend. Blow Felt also got one, but I have no idea what for. Clap Trap and Rapid got down-downs for enticing Double Entry into their coupling activities in a deviant Ménage à trois relationship. There were plenty more, but you will have to forgive me as my brain was a bit addled, due to lack of sleep and alcohol poisoning.
Yours Affectionately,
El Capitain

On-on to the annual Gispert run which is being held at the Café Goa restaurant in Barton-le-Clay on Wed evening at 7:30pm.