Run 1224

Sunday 14 September 2014

The Unicorn, Cublington

Hares: Fat Controller and MKH3's Cum Dancing

H5 HASHERS: 13  MUTTS: 1  OTHERS: Loads

FAT CONTROLLER, FOR WHOM THE EXPRESSION "INEBRIATED BY THE EXUBERANCE OF HIS OWN VERBOSITY" WAS COINED, SAYS:

This hash joint run was first mooted at the superb Bicester H3 25th Anniversary Weekend in May. Cum Dancing and I know the Vale of Aylesbury northern escarpment well, especially the Black Boy pub in Oving, and so chose it as the venue. I've always wanted to set runs in this beautiful area, and this chat was giving me the opportunity to do so, and to expand the H5 range and 'parochial' minds further west of the M1 – as Forkin' did a while ago by bravely setting a trail in Tring.
Checking the pub out, I found that this once-popular watering hole is closed indefinitely, and so decided to check out another pub I regularly drive past that always looks suitable – 'The Unicorn' in the tiny village of Cublington. What a result! A real local community pub, serving locally brewed real ales and good grub. Friendly bar staff and locals welcomed me, including one who told me that he used to hash in New Guinea. He told me that he was christened 'Nicorette' in those far off daze. The reason being that he was trying to give up smoking, and so was importing 'Nicorette' into New Guinea. Hashers being hashers twisted it to make him into an illegal drugs smuggler.
A quick look at the map and a phone call to Cum Dancing – no problems. The die was cast!
Reccies completed by Cum Dancing, Slushy, CD's faithful, long-suffering sidekick,and myself set both the Knitting Circle and Hash trails across the high plateau to where they crossed the old runway and grounds that once was home to RAF Wing. Here in 1942, Wellington bombers and Mustang fighters once took to the skies, as Gispert was fighting for his life in Singapore.
Over a well earned beer after a reccie, we discussed how many we thought would attend. We estimated forty+. Were we gonna be lucky?
Sunday morning arrived, and Kisses Anytime (my faithful, long-suffering sidekick) set off early. Kisses was shepherding the Knitting Circlers, so I showed her the landmarks to head for. This ploy proved fortunate as we found that a day's clay pigeon shoot had been arranged in a field crossed by the public footpath planned to be used by the walkers. We arrived early at the pub, set up the 'HHH' signs to the cricket ground car park, and waited for you lot to turn up........

The magic number of forty was easily reached! Eight kennels were represented: H5, MK, Bicester, Oxford, City, South Herts, Cambridge and Port Moresby. Yes! Even Nicorette turned up. The assembled pack consisted of Hash Elder Statesmen, Urine, Spermwhale and Swill. The youngest by far was two and a half year old Amy, the daughter of Blitzen and One Lose Le Trek. Excluding Kisses and I, from our lot there was Double Entry, Atomic Titten, The Count, Lady P, Underlay, Rapid, Subbie, Oscar, Forkin', Nik Nak, Pussies and Blowfelt. A very good turnout!
Dormobile and Forkin' nominated as RAs, called the 'Circle' – and so we were off left past the church. The trail continued round to the fields at the back of the pub, crossed the Wing road onto a small lane where the trail split in two, with the KC trail heading for the potential 'Knitting Circler shoot'. Back marking with Lady P and DE, we followed the main pack. Then, I noticed two stragglers way behind, I waited. It was Pussies and Blowfelt. "We thought we were following the Knitting Circlers." they bleated. And so, dear reader, lagging way behind, I missed all the jolly japes, and shepherded them across the old runway and on to the Beer Stop. (All this chivalry on the hash has to stop!).
The Beer Stop was once a beautiful, paid for by us taxpayer's but now abandoned, Picnic Area. The hidden cache was soon found, and then like the nearby stream, the thirst quenching beer and softies flowed. "Check it Out!" And, we were off down the overgrown footpath of brambles and nettles following the stream. The howls and screams must have sounded like the nocturnal goings on that closed the Picnic spot.
Back at the pub, Swill was the last one back, dripping with sweat he was definitely ready for a beer or two, but to my surprise, little Amy looked as fresh as a daisy! She must be a very fit little girl, must get it from her mummy. For some reason, daddy looked shattered!
The barbie was being prepared for us, and so Dormobile shouted 'Circle Up!' Then, realising he was on his own, asked: "Where's what's 'is name – Porkie?" We fell about laughing as Forkin' joined him. "Porkie' Quite apt really, him being a butcher's son." I thought.
Different RAs make for different down-downs, and so it was a very enjoyable 'Circle'. Even Nicorette took a down-down for ducking out of hashing for the past 20 odd years in Aylesbury. Dormobile even suggested updating his name to 'E-Cigarette'! Perhaps, next time?
Great venue assisted by staff members Robyn and Paul. Robyn took the down-down! I'm told that there's some great photos on Facebook. It's just such a shame that the trail Amnesia claims he laid on Facebook couldn't be found!
Next joint runs could be at Brill, Quainton, Waddeston, Whitchurch, Stewkley or Oving – if the Black Boy re-opens.
Isn't it odd, that there still appears to be one rule for one and one for another? Saturday whilst laying the trail, the constant loud 'thump-thump-thump' of garage music could be heard rumbling across the quiet countryside from an Open air car rally being held at Steart's Farm. Then on Sunday morning, the clay shoot over a public footpath! And we get complaints about sounding the hash horn!

Underlay's 1224