Monday 7 July 2014
The Globe, Dunstable
HASHERS: 11 APRES: 1
Ringer's LXVth Birthday Run
Is it a Banksy mural?
FC remembers he's left the oven on
"It was at this exact spot I had my wicked way with her"
"There are no number checks. There are no held checks. There are no bars and no tees" said the Hare, "...and no dust" quipped one wag. Au contraire mon ami. Laying this run took the best part of 3kg of the stuff, all in a delicate shade of pink to distinguish it from the solid calcium carbonate (CaCO3) that dominates these here parts. This apparent CBA on behalf of the hare was in fact a necessity as it involved laying two completely different routes in the centre section of the run, one for the FRBs and another for the KC. "If you find dust, you're on-trail. If you've gone more than about 25m without seeing dust, you're off-trail." "Phew, complicated isn't it", said one hasher. In the event it turned into a three group run: the FRBs, the KC and two other hashers who will be revealed later – always leave the reader obliged to read on further to find out what happened.
With a warning that the run was longer than usual, but with a significant shortcut for the non-FRBs, a gentle hint from the Hare soon had the pack on-trail. Passing a chippie, Forking DC was tempted to buy a bag, but was advised to wait until later. Without messing around we made our way with all speed out of urban Dunstable and into the rural wilds of Green Lanes. Already the FRBs – Capt F and Rapid W; Forking DC started off with them but soon dropped off to re-join the rest of us – were only just still in sight and once gone were not seen again until just after the two trails merged again for the trip back to the pub. We learned subsequently that they had made something of a competition out of it, egging each other on-on faster.
Clap Trap took the Hare's 25m rather too literally at one point, coming back from checking what was a perfectly good trail having counted 25 paces without finding dust. At the next check, Nik-Nak took on the mantle of leading the KC, taking Clap Trap with her – it would a long time before we saw either of them again. A steep decline which FDC remembered from a past run as being a Cresta Run in the wet season, led to the parting of the ways, the FRBs branching off for a long detour. Laying this section of the run, the Hare had changed his original plan on the grounds that a) the weather forecast was for a heavy shower real soon, and b) that the alternative route was safer and offered potential shelter, as the sky appeared to be getting ready to deliver what the forecast had promised. The revised route would take them along a substantial section of the old railway line up the incline from the previous station, Stanbridgeford, towards Dunstable.
The KC route involved negotiating a steeply-cambered path through the trees. Double Entry, Kisses Anytime and Catch-It were a tad nervous about it, but this is a hash; what could possibly go wrong? Eventually the two trails reunited at the old railway bridge over the Sewell road.
Shortly afterwards the FRBs were spotted gaining on the KC. But where were Nik-Nak and Clap Trap? Had they ignored the short-cut and gone for the full monty? They would be a fair old time at it if they had.
An uneventful run/walk back to the pub (FDC armed with the chips denied him earlier) got almost everyone safely in in less than 1½hrs – almost everyone that is except Nik-Nak & Clap Trap. They'll be ok, they're adults aren't they? Catch-It was showing signs of concern, concern that Clap Trap had the car keys. Attempts to reach either of them on their mobiles proved fruitless.
The Knitting Circle, two-by-two
Clap Trap's 25m was too short
The rolling remains of Totternhoe Quarry
FRBs in Titan battle with the clock
Newly-aproned Fat Controller supplied much appreciated victuals in the form of 'Paradise Slice'.
Bangers arrived on his bike and Forkin' suggested that he ride off on it on a find-and-rescue mission, but since he didn't have a mobile with him that plan was a non-starter. "I could walk home, get my bike and phone and ride back up the trail", he suggested. Several other options were discussed but in true hash fashion nothing useful emerged, except that the B&T Golden Fox was caressing the tonsils nicely. Just as the clock showed that they'd been out for over 2hrs, the Lost Souls appeared safe, sound and knackered, much to everyone's relief.
HM Capt F called the Circle to order inside the pub, in part because Dunstable has draconian bye-laws about drinking in public spaces. Hare Ringer was first up as both Hare and Birthday Boy. RA Forkin' DC then took over and dispensed sinners' punishments from his tray of 5 thirds ‐ a Globe speciality.
A good run thought the absent Pongo, a view that prevailed, so it's On-On to the next run in 7 days time at The Three Horseshoes, Norton where the Peckerettes will doubtless serve up a corker.
Stand-in Hash Flash, Double Entry, this week came over all arty. Here is her portfolio...you'll have to ask HER what it all means!