Monday 2 June 2014
The Wheatsheaf, Biggleswade
Hares: Shagpile & Underlay
HASHERS: 19 ANKLE BITERS: 2 MUTTS: 2 APRES: 0
The dry conditions were a bit too much for Scooby-Doo
Atomic captured the flora...
...while the fauna checked out the Hashit
The Eds do encourage Hares to be imaginative with their Wurdz. Read on...
For the second time in not many weeks, I have learnt that being co-hare also includes being The Wurdz writer. There must be a way of preventing this happening, but I just can't think of how to do it right now. Anyhow, he is my Wurdz........
Having found out that The Fox and Duck at Therfield is no longer hash friendly, a change of venue to that cracking little pub, The Wheatsheaf in Biggleswade was required. Over 20 of the hash family turned up for the run, which promised (but not delivered) a meander through the scenic parts of Biggleswade.
After some extended shenanigans, instigated by Pecker that involved the hashit being used as a football in the circle, the hash set off at a sedate pace. Rapid Withdrawal was suffering from a suspected broken leg, but still managed to limp ahead of Sasquatch, who since having the height reduction operation, is now only four-foot-eight tall. Ward Ten made it to the first check, and expert FRB that she is, set off on the right trail, hotly pursued by Pussies Galore who was resplendent in new hash kit. Her recent lottery win seems to have provided her with more than just the new house and Ferrari!
It was good to see Penetrator make a rare appearance, but sad to hear that we may not have the pleasure of his company for a while again. He's off to foreign climes for a few months, he says. Good luck with the Jihad in Syria, Penetrator!
The trail led on through the urban sprawl of Biggleswade, and the pack became strung out. An ugly incident occurred when a gang of local 'yuffs ' saw some of the stragglers as easy targets for a mugging. It is reported that Bell End and Cardiac put up a poor show of resistance and blubbed for mercy, and had it not been for Lady P and G-String's timely intervention, things could have been very nasty indeed. G-String commented that he knew those Origami lessons would pay off one day, and little did we know that Lady P was the All England Under 16's Ladies Super Featherweight Boxing Champion (195*).
The favelas of Biggleswade were just a bad memory as the pack burst into the lush Bedfordshire countryside. Taking the lead from the ever present swarms of flies, hashers gleefully headed towards the cow meadow. Led by Boris, who was leaping from pat-to-pat, the happy pack trotted through the field. The bovine inhabitants were initially just curious, but gradually displayed more interest, and began moving at a gentle pace to keep up with the hashers. Eventually panic set in, and a stampede ensued. The cows were also frightened. Bangers, hands thrown above his head, rushed for the gate, screaming "I was only following orders, for pity's sake don't eat me". Bravely Forkin' Dickchair, whipped off his red Y-fronts, and striking a pose worthy of Enrique Ponce, shook the crimson shreddies to distract the herd. It worked of course. He's in L5 ward at Addenbrooke's if you want to send him a card. Best not to visit just yet.
Hash marks were appropriate for the locale
Linguistic skills, Biggleswade style
DE orders a halt to the silly proceedings
Other than Fat Controller getting struck by the 17:49 train from KX at the railway crossing, there is not much else to report for this run.
As usual, it was all too soon that the On Inn was seen, and the fun was over for another week. Circle was called, and Down-Downs awarded, as they are every week. Next week's run is in seven days.