Run 1172

Sunday 29 September 2013

The Moon and Stars, Rushden

Hares: Double Entry and Twicza

HASHERS: 19  MUTTS: 1  NEWBEES: 1

Run 1172 was the last hash in the year of the Double Dragon and you wouldn't be mistaken for thinking that it was leaving it quite late in the season to hare for the 5th time, to qualify for a fab Hare T-Shirt. But what could possibly prevent me achieving this, or should I say who? Surely not a competitive hasher (yes competitive!) who moved into a neighbouring village to me only last year?!

Those of you who have read the wurdz from 1171 will know the hasher in question was 0.2 points behind for the most runs award as we approached Sunday's hash at The Moon & Stars. Even with me missing one run due to illness, and two runs in one weekend when I was on holiday, he still wasn't able to take the lead by a clear run and so his thoughts turned to…wait for it...sabotage! Whilst drinking with some friends on Saturday evening the idea of clamping my car was considered by (you must have guessed by now) Count Roadkill (deduct 1.2 points from Count for such mean thoughts). This was told to us by his confidante, or actually not so confidante, Lady P. Fortunately due to having consumed a little too much alcohol the plan was not carried out. This was not only fortunate for me but for the mischievous rascal himself as he would have been on the receiving end of the 'Hungarian glare' from fellow co-hare Twicza.

On laying the trail on a sunny Saturday we had plenty of flour and bottles but Twicza, despite being a baker and used to working with flour, seemed to be encountering difficulties dobbing. At first she was heard to mutter it must be the type of flour, then it must be the bottle (what do they say about a workman and their tools?) and then after passing the bottle to me and seeing I could use it ok she decided it must be her technique. I can just picture Shagpile saying it's all in the wrist action! But at the pub on Sunday she managed to sprinkle the icing on the cake with ease so is now considering using that small utensil. Note to anyone who hares with her in future though, they say size doesn't matter but please allow at least 10 hours to lay the trail.

Five Baah and Knobber arrived by bike. Not having seen Knobber for a while I commented "nice to see you Knobber" which caused much amusement to cheeky harriette Gorjoyce, and a response from him of "are my shorts really that tight".

The opening circle started with a welcome to our visitor Taff from the Guernsey hash and a welcome back to Underlay, who has just returned from spending 3 months on location for the next series of the TV show Shipwrecked. Given the rendition of the H5 edited version of the song Sealed with a Kiss, sung to her at the closing circle, she may have wished she'd stayed there! Unfortunately the Blue Prince wasn't present to aid us with the lyrics he'd written or more importantly the tune.

We hares directed the hashers to the On Out, with comments from Shagpile that this was indeed proper haring. Having laid with him earlier in the year he had taught me a trick or two [thanks for the new Quote of the Week DE: Asst Ed]. One of these being that you shouldn't have a check at the start of a run so these 'words of wisdom' were applied.

And so a sunny rural countryside run followed, consisting of relay haring by myself and Twicza. Due to some lengthy trails there were a couple of short cut options, and in order that the poor hares could keep up with those FRBs there were several numbers to the back. These were kindly obeyed throughout. But there were two hashers who didn't come back when the On was called at a check. One was Zebedee who said the Count lead him astray (deduct 0.4 points from the Count) and the other being the Count himself who made up a story about an unfortunate carrier bag looking like flour (deduct 0.2 points from the Count for telling untruths).

Due to the relay approach we were haring single-handed at times so this did mean we had to occasionally lay the arrow a little early at checks so as to keep up, neither of us being runners after all. We were harriettes with a plan and on a mission, and fortunately this came to fruition. Having split into two groups about ¾ of the way round, the A route and the B route as Ringer called it, the runners caught up with the walkers in the final lane back to the pub.

As is tradition the hares were asked what they would like as their down downs and didn't think an "Archers & Lemonade" and "Jack Daniels & Coke" were unreasonable requests given their efforts and exertion in the last hour, but it seems what you ask for and what you get don't always tally.

Subby had been in school ma'am role during the run as she told us our number 4 didn't look anything like a 4. However she soon resorted to pupil mode as she handed in her homework (run sheet) to the Count for marking whilst making excuses such as I don't usually use pen, I've ticked them but they were at Summer Posh Nosh not here today. Oscar got away lightly though as the "dog ate it" excuse wasn't used on this occasion.

Thongo commented how great it was that Twicza and I had managed to arrange for the grass edges to be cut around the fields. That took some work we can assure you! Finding the right people isn't easy but I learnt how to achieve this at Emberton Country Park.

Down downs consisted of:

• a punishment for Count for even considering sabotage
• for visitor Taff as a welcome and as an enticer (sounds better than bribe) to encourage him to bake a crumble
• for Underlay (returnee, birthday and anniversary – she's been taking lessons from Lady P)
• for Shagpile for an anniversary
• for Rapid for having gone dogging in the week (it cost him £11 but included food so he thought it was worth it)

Announcements caused alarm for Shagpile as he heard we were now leaderless, out with the old Mismanagement and awaiting the new. Ringer tried to calm the situation by saying the hash is on auto pilot but both pilots are asleep. Huh hum no real change there then......

And so the Year of the Double Dragon has ended with Count Roadkill 2 points behind. As school ma'am Subby would say "you must try harder next year" and "you must play nicely with the other hashers".

On On to the Year of the Cobra kicked off by a run brought to you by Spotted Dick & Custard at The Bell Motel, Codicote

PS We look forward to a crumble from Taff soon.

Packed with lies The Daily Mail may be, but on occasion that organ could learn a trick or two from The Wurdz. Needless to say this scurrilous attack upon a very pillar of the H5 community was published behind my back and the blameless Count has instructed solicitors Sue, Grabbit and Run, so I can say no more.... Scribe

How Underlay Did 1172