Sunday 17 March 2013
The Carpenters Arms, Harlington
Hares: Subby and Lady P
HASHERS: 18 MUTTS: 2
When the hares wear wellies ...
... PP will enjoy himself ...
... but wimp out under a bridge for shelter
If you're going to lay a trail in March, you should expect to wear appropriate clothing because there's no such thing as bad weather apparently. Well all I can say is summarised in the answer to the following question: what phrase connects the Queen's Diamond Jubilee, the Tinker's Trail run on St Patrick's Day and Mitch Murray? Answer? "Down Came the Rain" and if you want the 60s song version and a laugh click here. Not that The Hares were in any way more than just friends doing the recce, laying and haring the run but the blasted rain did feature very largely!
Having braved freezing cold shiggy on Tuesday when doing the recce, we enjoyed a brief "sunny interval" on Saturday prior to Noah's worst nighmare rainstorm, then divine providence finally gave out on us and as you brave hashers will know the heavens stayed especially open to increase the quality of the ubiquitous slithery, slimey, sticky stuff which brought a shiggy end to Private Parts' rear. Waders and canoes should be fitting accoutrements should the current inclement weather continue! Though to do justice to St Paddy's Day, Ringer and LeRoy obviously go for rather outrageous Guinness Head Gear (who said head?)
Shunning the Carpenters' Arms car park in favour of spaces-a-plenty at the village hall, the pack set off at a splendid pace down Westoning Road (well done Count RoadKill) which boded well for sampling all our well-laid falsies. The true trail finally being found, but as the blasted wet stuff had washed out some of the best laid markings, CRK went off on another wonderful tangent. We then proceeded out to open country where the cunning Underlay without turning a "hare" found the correct footpath taking us up our first incline, where a cruel six-to-the-back was largely ignored apart from an honest few (thank you Forking, CRK and Depth Charge). Some distance further on, the majority of the pack wimped out under a well-placed bridge whilst waiting for the knitting circle. Following Lady P's instruction to "check it out" CRK ran in entirely the wrong direction, through a perfectly placed T, due yet again to aerial torrents conspiring to obliterate the hares' guidance.
After that it was anyone's run and thankfully the deluges did at least contribute to keeping the pack more or less together by diluting the hitherto very clear dust droppings, which gave The Hares time to catch up and smugly lay some arrows in the opposite direction from that taken by all the wayward runners. There were also plenty of opportunities to earn feet of clay, well mud actually, and slow down any aspiring FRBs.
Oh joy later on when the majority of the pack disappeared down yet another brown piste instead of the less obvious nice green field (well timed CRK), only to undermine the normally sure-footed Bangers and PP's fancy footwork and land him on his derriere, not once but TWICE! From here it was shiggy all the way to the kissing gate and then up a nasty incline to the Harlington Road, back to the church and the On-Inn.
Leroy and Ringer up for St Paddy's Day..
.. but Orange Man Zebedee put his foot in it
Bangers claims it's standard tinker headgear
How on earth LeRoy and Gorjoyce ended up coming across the field to the village hall car park we'll never know but it certainly wasn't anything to do with dust. And another thing! How did Zebedee appear from nowhere, ahead of the hares, when his alleged ETA at the car park wasn't until about 11.45? Maybe there is something in the Boing Boing rumour after all.
Sadly the promised chips didn't appear at the pub but we did have cheese scones and cake roundly appreciated by Capt F and CRK amongst others. The circle was mercifully short because of over-plentiful precipitation (though we were all rather nervous when Knobber started one of his jokes) and apart from lots of people including LeRoy and CRK in the circle at one time for wearing head gear (who said head?) and Shagpile for admiring Nik Nak's pert bum, I'm at a loss to recall what other misdemeanours were committed. However, I'm sure the Guinness was appreciated by many even if somewhat diluted by umbrella loads of H2O. Oh yes and speaking of umbrellas, I think we've broken the record for how many hashers can shelter under one, albeit Bangers did cheat a bit by using his very fetching hanky. Oh yes and Subby says she's never, never, never volunteering to hare in Winter again if the current track record of plentiful WEATHER continues.
On-on to the Chequers at Little Gransden.
Lots of Love Subby and Lady P xxx
P.S. If you think CRK features a lot in these words it's because he is a very special Darling Bear - in case you didn't already know! [oh subby that's very sweet of you ... scribe]