Sunday 10 March 2013
The Pig & Abbot, Abington Pigotts
Hares: The Count and Twicza
HASHERS: 20 MUTTS: 6
Guard Dog limits weather shelter to two
Dirty Jack and Leroy's Horn
Clearly Guilty as Charged
It is, as The Hash Hoi Polloi and Gorjoyce in particular eventually worked out, the H5 Year of the Double Dragon. Not to be confused with Double Diamond, this is a fine ale brewed in the Land of My Fathers (well, not my fathers, or even father, but you know what I mean). Now look you, a few days after St David's Day and a few days before the Pride of Wales humble the English egg-chasers at the Millennium Stadium what better beer to have at the 1139 Beer Stop than The National Ale of Wales? And well it went down too, indeed to goodness.
All of which reminds me - did you know that: "Ydy cylchlythyr y Rhyddfrydwyr yn cynnwys hysbysrwydd gyswllt?" means "Someone's stolen all the vowel keys from my keyboard, do you know where I can get it repaired?" Check it out on Google Translate boyo.
Back to Abington Pigotts, mercifully many miles from tir y defaid-shagger and strictly off the H5 patch, being in Cambridgeshire, and it was good to see Capt F swallow his pride and enter the fray despite the low level risk of coming face to face with the enemy. One of 26 hardy souls to make it far enough east to be Oriental: not that the weather was. Near freezing with the drizzle trying desperately to turn to snow as the Hash played musical cars in an effort to leave enough space for a host of Mum's to be lunched at The Pig on their Big Day of the Year.
Bangers assured us it was Madge's birthday, and with half an eye to her down-down she didn't argue, and Lady P told us she was 22,222 days old yesterday which the circle seemed to think that was equally plausible, to her dismay. But when Gorjoyce revealed she had persuaded her son into marital engagement just to have the chance to throw water over us, it was all beginning to go too far: time to bring in the Hares.
The Hares used the progressive formation and game plan which is standard under Herr Razor Double. Unrelated Hasher/ Harriette combo: recce, lunch, lay, lunch and ask for a Hare Shirt. The lunches were good, the pub owners friendly and helpful, their log fires excellent . What seemed to be missing was a coherent plan for a trail: the Hares collective mind was changed, the path was lost and, in order to avoid a delay to lunch, the trail went off-piste. On the day this was to lead to a claggy sprint past yelping dogs for FRBs Zebedee and Rapid Withdrawal, followed by a claggy tramp for an extending knitting circle that seemed to include Ringer and even PP: but no shout of "Gedoff My Laan", much to the disappointment of this Hare.
Coincidence with Day 4 of The Kennel Club's bonanza at the NEC made it a little surprising that six Mutts had opted out and chosen to increase Hash numbers by 30%. Less surprising was Jack being banned from The Pig post run for being too shiggified. I wonder how he managed to talk himself into Rapid's pristine motor for the trip home? Leroy's Horn was more welcome - we'll come to the oo, err, missus bit later - as it was able to Sound the Retreat when Z & RW, still FRBing, ploughed on past a bar and over the hill beyond the range of even this Hare's call.
Birthday girl Madge and other mutts
Mothers Day for Mums
Spotted Dick caught short between Gigglers
Having ambled South and West it was time for the Hash to face a long haul North and East, into the cold wind and with number checks to help earn the Double Dragon, supplemented by Twicza's excellent Double Chocolate Biscuits, on offer at Bible Grove as well as the ON INN.
Back at The Pig, the landlord was busy oiling his credit card machine but still found time to serve us a very acceptable pint of Landlord, and early returner Shagpile and latecomer Shuffle Cock were the first to make themselves comfortable in front of the huge log fire. So comfortable were we, it was difficult to take ourselves outside for the circle and Capt F's much favoured group cuddle proved a popular warmer.
According to The Frau, Thongo would have thought the Run too short: furtive imagination that Harriette as she was also too late to enjoy it. Down-downs for the Mums, of course, for Subby, who not only possesses but also dresses as a giant condom, for Leroy and Rapid for crimes too serious to recall but their guilt was clear, and for Double and Lush. The Terrible Twins were caught prompting an chorus of virtually Single Entende, involving the ubiquitous "it" which needed of course to be tugged, pulled etc., and damn near giggled off their wellies (spell check suggested "willies" which is clever).
Yaki Dah and ON ON to Harlington for an Irish theme.
THE COUNT and lunching companion TWICZA