Run 1121

Sunday 4 November 2012

The Cock, Broom
(The Cock Up Run)

Hares: Submissive & Count Roadkill


Well this was truly a run of cock-ups...
Cock up No. 1 The COUNT sent me, SUBBY, on a recky of the run on the previous Sat only to find that one part of the run was now being extracted and travelling along a working conveyor belt, piece of gravel by gravel, and a second part of the run was now a lake! Rerouting required! [This is The Trail as recceed by Subby]
Cock up No. 2
Having twice pre-warned The Cock landlord of H5 presence on Sunday 4th, the COUNT and SUBBY called in on Saturday 3rd after laying, only to find he had been 'waiting all day for us to arrive'! The Count then had to teach the very unsure cook how to make a brie sandwich.

Cold beating group huddle

Underlay glides over top class shiggy

Too much dark trail choice under A1

Cock up No. 3 The Forecast from Subby's sources said it wouldn't rain until Sunday evening...... It deluged from the early hours of Sunday, removing most of the carefully laid trail!
Cock up No. 4 GORGOYCE ran out of petrol on the way to the hash, so had an emergency detour to the petrol station, making her late for the hash ON ON. (She was still in shock having met her mate, Pat from Eastenders.)
Cock up No. 5 GOES QUIETLY was our returnee after 3 years [958 it was .. anorak]. Apparently, he had booked a place at the 2009 Christmas posh Nosh but had a better offer with a French woman in Paris! I'm glad LADY P wasn't there to hear that!
Cock up No. 6 CAPTAIN F. looked for the hidden Cock* at the HELD check and told DOUBLE ENTRY that he had looked where she was looking and there was no point. "Ah, but that was a man look", she said, and promptly found the card with a picture of our delightful SHUFFLECOCK and was rewarded with one of Subby's Chocolate Cockerels and a huge hug from SHUFFLE.
Cock up No. 7 All of the running hash whizzed past the second held check as it had been completely submerged under 6" of water. This left the knitting circle to find a card with an obvious picture and the clue _ _ _ _ _ _   _ _ _ _ _ C O C K, but it still took LOST CAUSE half an hour and a lot of guidance from DOUBLE to work out ALFRED HITCHCOCK. He later complained [is that the right word? .. ed] to the hash that his cock was the hardest, which promptly cost him a Down Down in the circle!
Cock up No. 8 FRBs seemed unable to count, as only KNOBBER and DEPTH CHARGE chose to follow the 4-to-the-back fish hook [I take the counting blame ... it's an age thing .. co-hare].
Cock up Nos. 10-13 All happened in the tunnel under the A1. The COUNT forgot to duck when laying the trail, even though he had just written 'DUCK' [sic] in flour on the floor. GORGOYCE was convinced the A1 was going to collapse on top of her and preferred to stand in the rain, waiting for the runners, after the shortcut. KNOBBER admitted he was a wus and he didn't like dark enclosed spaces. RINGER (wait for this...) couldn't walk any faster through the tunnel, holding the whole hash up, because it was too dark and he couldn't see anything. Actually as he bent the peak of his cap (see right) was over his eyes!

Fields a little moist in places ....

.... but shurely Ringer over reacts?

Goes Quietly takes returnee down-down

The Cock offered a welcome to our return and we glowed in front of the 'fire with no coal', after teas, coffees and bacon sarnies, and what CAPT F says is one of the best pints of IPA in Beds.
Then came the COCK UP OF THE YEAR........We had congregated in the cosiness of the front room and were joined by a couple of unlikely looking Apres who said that they were sorry they were late and that they had only been once before. At the bar, DEPTH talked to them about having just been on a good run and they nodded knowingly. Then the circle began, inside on weather grounds, and at the point of " ....he's an asshole so they say....," the woman piped up "I think we are in the wrong place..... we were supposed to be joining the TR register." Their idea of a good run was in a TR7!!!!
You had to have been there to have seen the funny side, but it tickled us for a good half hour and I am sure it will be mentioned for years to come. We were unwittingly 'parasited' by some car enthusiasts!
Further Down Downs were for SHUFFLE for not asking DEPTH which run we were on for the first time, UNDERLAY for being a human Sat Nav and always knowing the route, and CAPTAIN F for losing one of his tankards....... again!
In short, we had a lot of Cock ups at the Cock, got very wet, muddy and cold but had a belly full of laughs and we all had a down down. Where were you?
ON ON TO 11 11

TR Register parasites explain their gate-crashing to the RA. If you're a hairdresser and want to join the TR Register click here

* Before the deluge Hare Subby painstaking hid a picture of a different cock at each of 6 Held Checks and offered a chocy cock prize for the finder/ solver. Are there signs of an obsession here? At least she didn't rename them Held Cocks.
Cock Hare

Apologies for rain-smudged photos.... Hash Flash