Run 1105

Monday 23 July 2012

The Bell, Woburn

Hares: Fat Controller & Ringer

HASHERS: 16  MUTTS: 1

A beautiful white crescent moon looked down from a still late summer deep blue sky as Ringer and I strolled back to the pub after setting the trail [FC presented me with a map of the trail, complete with all the checks, Ts, bars and km distances marked on it]. The heat, and the fact that I had actually gone against convention and shortened my already shortened trail by another two klics on Ringer's insistence had got me in a right sweat. But the previous day's events on the 12-mile hike, his reasoning (and Kisses Anytime's) seemed to make some sort of sense(?). Then, a little red sporty drop-top type 'hairdresser's' car drove past. And as the white crescent moon, now with a shiny star between its horns reflected on the red bonnet, a black haired gent with a stupid grin on his face waved a 'view halloo' at us. Was it the Turkish Barber from Torquay who had come to re-acquaint himself with Forking Dickchair? No, it was Rapid Withdrawal - posing as usual. If it wasn't for the fact that I go drinking with him, I wouldn't mix with him normally! Ha haa!

Anyway! Next, a sight for sore eyes beheld us - a callipigeous derrière reversing out of the back seat of a car parked on the street. It was Double Entry. "Why have you parked in the street?" I asked, "the pub car park is just there!" I pointed to the pub car park sign on the wall 20 feet behind the car. "I didn't see it!" she replied, as she extricated her hash gear. "Should've gone to Specsavers®!" I thought.

Kisses Anytime, Lost Cause and Limp greeted us as we entered the car park. Soon to be followed by other pack members who were not too knackered after the wakeboarding on Saturday. Even Frau, who had a good excuse not to attend after her previous day's health débaˆle, was looking in top form! Nik Nak looked great in the Hash Sh1t which she had washed and mended. Circle Up was called. The usual banal hash pleasantries played out, and it was On-Out to the right.

The pack soon split into the usual groups of two. [Not only into two groups, but two trails as FC took an unplanned shortcut - remind me of the meaning of co-hare FC?] Ringer took the racing snake group, and I went along for a leisurely stroll with the knitting circle. Lost Cause found the first bar, and ran past the fingerpost where the trail was laid between the almshouses and out onto a hay field, where the next bar caught Depth Charge out. The trail then crossed the road into hayfields, where I left Ringer [ remind me of the meaning...?] to take the FRBs up and across Wayn Close, created to provide an uninterrupted view from 'the Big House', and back down to the road. [The FRBs - Depth Charge, Rapid, CRk, Shuffle etc all seemed quite keen to push the pace on, just my luck.]

Meanwhile I shepherded the KCers along to Marylands, to await the FRBs who were fannying about in the oil seed rape field...[ not quite as bad as one section of CRk's pensioners' walk the day before, but painful nonetheless ]...then it was off into the woods on a trail that Forking had laid some months back.

In the pines, I left Ringer [remind me of the meaning...?] to take the FRBs up the steepest, most challenging part of the trail where we had laid a goodly supply of number checks to maintain the challenge, while I lead the KCers to the sadly derelict Horsemere Farm. Being a beautiful evening we tarried for a while, and I regaled/bored them with tales of how Ringer and I had set this next stretch of the trail, so that noboby would go into the the unfriendly neighbouring farm, or suffer another long trail through oil seed rape. They soon got bored, so we went for a walk up on to the hill and looked at the beautiful view. Hearing the faint shouts of the approaching FRBs, I cajoled the KCers back down the hill, onto the clearly-marked [not when we got there it wasn't] trail to the right of the two oaks in the field to the stile in the hedge. This was when I saw Shufflecock on trail to Horsemere Farm. I stopped so he could see me, which I thought he had, and set off to steer the KCers on a clearly-marked trail around the verge of another oil seed rape field [thanks Farmer Countwithoutano] to the clearly marked ON - INN. What worried me was, there was still no sign of the FRBs, they should have been past us by now [we took the scenic route FC].

As we all arrived back, Limp re-appeared! The lazy git had been sitting in the pub all the time we were out...got to be a down down! In the Circle Pongo waxed lyrical on the joys of the trail, and Count Roadkill commented on the copious amounts of flour laid! RA Rapid handed over to our new assistant RA Lost Cause...and what a good job he did! Submissive was given a down down for not having a full Equity Card after carrying an Oscar. But where were Forking and the long-suffering 78-year-old birthday boy Bangers? Tired out after the Saturday night party that we were not invited to I bet!

Ringer - seems to me he mistook the church clock as the fingerpost to the On-Inn - have YOU ever thought about going to Specsavers®? Cheers for co-haring! [Remind me once again FC about...]

ON - ON! (To infirmity and beyond)

F.C. [and Ringer]