Setting a trail "live" you actually see very little, so my words this week will be unfashionably short.

I set off to lay the trail with a short head [Head, who said head? - Deputy Ed.] start of about an hour (according to Shagpile real men only need 10 mins - Underlay could you confirm this?). I hadn't had the chance to fully check out the route so was relying on a brief passing look after last week's hash and my map reading skills. [Uh oh, I sense trouble ahead - Deputy Ed.]

It was not a bad day for setting the trail at all the only sounds were the cries of small birds as they were machine gunned to death by the combined volley of the local gun club.

The route set off through the woods, before joining the Greensands walk, along to Maulden church before setting back past the aforementioned shooters and back through the woods. A casual 3 mile trot.

My first encounter with the pack was by a delightful thatched cottage in the woods. Earlier an old lady had tried to entice me in with offers of Ginger Bread, but I was wise to that ploy thanks to master baker Twiza. At this point I was on my back loop, but Bangers got all excited thinking he had caught the hare. No such luck.

I left them to find the trail and completed the rest of the route, which it transpires was totally ignored. G-String - I know how you feel now!

Back to the start and everybody made it back on the hour. Clearly Depth Charge had not over-indulged the previous day.

We circled at the car [Just the one? - Deputy Ed.] and a casual employment offer was made to Forking to act as RA. This clearly went straight to his head and in an excited state (he had received a DVD player from Santa - did he mention this?) He awarded Double Entry a down down from run 999.

A couple more drinks for god only knows what and the FRB award was re-awarded to Depth Charge but the people spoke, and it was passed to me for being such a fast hare and not being caught. Quite unlikely really if you don't follow the trail.

Afterwards a few hardy soles [sic - Deputy Ed.] ventured to the pub whilst Underlay took her enjoyment on a bike.

On On

Rapid Withdrawal