Run 1046

Monday 20 June 2011

The French Horn, Steppingley

Hares: Depth Charge & Forking

HASHERS: 16  ANKLE BITERS: 1  MUTTS: 1  APRES: 4

First day of Wimbledon and a Test Match on as well, so you could pretty much guarantee rain. The moist atmosphere didn't dampen the spirits of the hardy hashers running from the French Horn in Steppingly.

First to the pub was Limp on a meandering walk round his village, post knee-op. HM called the circle in a Cow Shed due to the rain and Forking was given the Birthday hat for a 40 something birthday, soon he will be saying ???? ???????? on his ????????? birthday in Russia next week. My Birthday was in May making me a Taurean, more of that later.

The on-out was called and hashers scattered in all directions. Ringer (through the nose) found the first false trail which was close by and maverick PP found the next which was a lot further afield. The correct route proceeded past the Church and the old school and also past a couple in a Corsa with steamed up windows! Gorjoyce, sporting a bright brolly and Thongo [forgot his shoes? .. some story that ... ed] escorting her got little further before retreating back to the warmth of the French Horn, it being known as the 'horny' pub to Lush on facebook.

Down to the main road and the flour trail was holding up pretty well save for one or two washed away bars. Luckily the numbers were holding up pretty well, as can be attested by the herd that was The Count, PP, Shufflecock, Submissive, Five Bah and Edwina 123 to mention but a few of those who found the 1 or 2 laid.

Off towards Flitwick wood where the FRBs found an abundance of bars and then there was udder chaos as Lush found an abundance of cows, much to her displeasure. Stallion didn't need a cow prodder to move Matador who was lame, having gone from the rear to the front by choosing the correct route. Through the farm and the herd of hashers was pursued by some more inquisitive bovines, so the knitting circle had to get a moo-ve on. Crossing the farm was a battle of wills against the cows, particularly for Lush Bug Knickers with her supporters Double Entry and Twiczer, just about holding her together until Rapid Withdrawal rustled next to her and bellowed MOO!! only for Lush to go to pieces again.

End of the farm drive and the end of the cows...err no. A couple of false trails at the end of the drive and the on-on was called on the popular John Bunyan way which was a stampede across as more bovines that took a friendly liking to Lush who couldn't wait to get out the field fast enough. Submissive actually managed to steer along the correct way at the ladies check as Stallion & Matador took the castrated route where there were more profanities from Lush, mainly directed in my direction for saying that there were only cows in the field for the Short Cut - Bull S@@t Lush commented.

Once on from the check where the short cut took off, it seems that all the cows had been moved from that field to the others that we'd run through. Lush thought that was a load of Bullocks!
Final stretch and with Calves burning it was up through Flitwick Plantation and back past Park Farm to the On-Inn. At the pub, most found time to wear some dry clothes, Shufflecock going bare footin' rather than squelching in wet socks. Lush was detoxing and drinking fizzy water, though it was suggested that someone buy her 568ml of glandular secretion of the Genus Bos!
Thongo's thoughts on the run were "that it was a wet one". It wasn't udderly disappointing as there were down-downs for the hares, Forking as the Birthday boy and Fat Controller for a bit of a girly cough and for saying he had landed a new job that will sadly see him missing a few Monday night hashes. Double Entry and Lush Big Knackers (for being a bit of a bloke) also got down downs along with Rapid for being bull-ish and bringing along. When one RA drinks they all did, though Rapid did get the well deserved 'Daddies' Hashit.
Mooving right On On to next week where PP will be Mad as a March Hare in Dunton!

Depth Charge with a bovine contribution from Comrade Forking.