Returnee Sludge leads the pack
H5 Rareties #36: S'meg to the back
Deca Award for stylish Twiczer
"Let's catch Submissive"!
Hashers overheard in FRB'ing shock Horror. By Roving (surely raving) Reporter Depth Charge.
With the Hash Super Injunction now lifted, we can exclusively report that Ryan Giggs did not attend Hash 1042 of the Hare and Hounds Hash House Harriers and neither did Imogen Thomas. Neither were available for comment as to why they didn't attend, but when asked for his opinion The Man Utd Boss said "Who the Hell are H5"? When pressed, Sir Alex did reveal that he'd sent Wayne Rooney (hash name Shrek) off on a long falsie!
1042 went ahead despite the end of the world being delayed and a bevy of beauties from H5 attended including H5 stunna's Birthday Girl Cunning Linguist, Returnee It's Megmerelda and Luscious Lush BK (who wasn't sure if she wanted to run in the rain, but turned up anyway).
Hares Zebedee, affected by a Spanish football style injury and Depth Charge, inhibited by some poor refereeing by the RA, were called into the (centre) Circle to kick off proceedings. Hashers quickly dispersed like the bottom three from the premiership in all directions till the On was called.
The spritely Underlay led the pack up a long false trail before everyone decided to follow Shagpile on the correct trail. At the next check RA Rapid Withdrawal was first up the false trail (ooerrr), but again that man Shagpile was FRB'ing closely followed by The Count. Some missed numbers (the Hares were trying to coax everyone onto the falsies) meant that everyone arrived at the next check very quickly. It was here that the RA nicked my map notes and read all details aloud. A gross abuse of Parliamentary privilege if ever I saw one!
Next was another gross abuse, with Shagpile not only FRB'ing but also SCB'ing as the route headed of to the arboretum. Once across the road Underlay again found a long false trail (having missed the T just before the bridge). It was in the Arboretum with its damp acidic soil that Zebedee's idea of 'less is more' came into it's own with only 1 or 2 dots in the entire place ensuring hashers ran in every direction. More numbers along a long trail saw everyone gather at a Page 3 Ladies check. Underlay, Nik Nak and It's Megmerelda, checked it out and the On was called back towards the Wymondley road. Another long stretch saw more much appreciated numbers before another check. H4/H5 returnee Sludge called the on closely followed by Rapid. They disappeared round the corner, encouraged by yours truly and allowed the pack headed by Count RoadKill to find the T (now that's the kind of trick us Hares like).
Looking back down the real trail, who was in front? Yes you guessed it Shagpile again! With some of the false trails being, missed the pack proceeded with a couple more numbers just to keep things interesting. Bangers must be psychic, as I heard him saying "we're heading back towards where we came in, unless there's a path hidden in that corner", at which precise moment the FRBs (including Shagpile again - despite braining himself on the overhanging branches) dived into the bushes.
Submissive enjoys bondage
Birthday hat for Cunning Linquist
100 Run Award for Shuffle
Forking remarked that the 'planks' acting as the bridge may not suffice for some members of the Hash. The gagging order on naming them hasn't yet been lifted, though I do believe that some may have been mentioned in Parliament.
The final stretch saw the final number and It's Megmerelda was the final hasher to get the number, just before the On-Inn was called.
It was here that I overheard Spotted Dick call out to Underlay in a tone that possibly could have been considered 'competitive', "Let's Catch Submissive"! Now make of that what you will!!!
Quote of the day (in the absence of Pongo)
Custard "That was a very nice run"!
RESULTS in the form of Down Downs:
Hares 2-0 Hash (though I had to go to extra time!)
ShuffleCock 100-10 Twiczer (awards for both!)
Cunning Linguist ?-? Birthdays (never ask a Lady her age)
Depth Charge 1-0 RA (poor refereeing and blatant theft of notes)
Sludge/Rapid/Sub/Underlay/Count 5-0 Depth Charge (technology. Good job I took my watch off before the circle)
Spotted Dick 1-1 Forking Dick Chair (Spotted Dick confused Zebedee with Scooby are they by any chance related? I think we should be told! Forking then couldn't remember Zebedee's Hash name)
Stick - only one real contender here and a clear winner with a Madge-ority vote was Madge herself.
FRB - a close contest but Shagpile's SCB'ing got him the vote over It's Megmerelda's late effort.
Toilet Seat - Bangers so as not to be outdone by Madge.
Capt F's Daddies Shirt - Me, though I haven't a clue what for!
Next weeks publication will no doubt be a much classier affair brought to you from The Danish Camp by Shuffle and Frau.
On On Depth Charge.