Run 1032

13 March 2011

The Orange Tree, Baldock

Hares: Knobber & Hairy Gusset

HASHERS: 23  NEWBEE: 1  ANKLE BITERS: 1  MUTTS: 3  APRES: 3

Would you Adam and Eve it: turned out H4 was laying a trail on our patch. Diabolical liberty, but rarver than get in a three and six (that's more than a two and eight) abart it, we done our trail in a cockney accent so as not to get all confused like.
Anyways, Ringer calls the circle and some new geezer wiv a rucksack called Bob was introduced. Dunno what his name was though larflarf. Then it was off over the frog and toad and into the Whitechapel area of Bawldock, loads of alleys and an old church.
Artervatt, the Daily Mail headed off toward some place cawldLetchwurf, and Zebedee and Shafflecock nearly gets there before the pack finds the apples and pears up to the old park and they as to come back.
Then once we crossed that this Frau bird gets all excited and starts leggin it all over the place. Turns out she used to dwell here and eventually the tin tack ends up outside her old drum at somewhere called Hadrians Wall. Lived there til she was 23 she said - good memory I'd say larflarf eh? There was even one of them plackswot says so.
Nice gaff too. Insidekarsy, the lot, and very handy for the A1M. But nowheres near a junction, so you would have to drive past it either way to drive a few miles to a junction, and then drive all the way back. So if you forgot summink, you have to go on to the next junction to go home again, when it would have been easier to park on the hard shoulder, drop a rope over the edge and slip down onto Hadrian's Wall, collect your things, shimmy up the rope and drive orf again. Wonder how many times that happened?
Then we're off froo the indastrial area where there's faktris and vatt, then owf up this long ill to Nawtun. The pack was pretty cream crackered by then so we dropped darn froo the fields and ended apgoinfroo a little tannel under the railway and back to the rub a dub.
Dunnowot happened after that. There was down downs but I can't remember who or why, but we had a bit of a larf and that's wot matters.

Da Doo to The Dingley at Bennyton

Barclays and Hairy Gussett

[Might have to explain that one. Barclays ... Bank .... Robber ... Knobber, gedit?]

Unveiled at 1032

H5 Inventions #782:
The Shortbread Foot
PATENT PENDING LADY P/ SUBMISSIVE

H5 Inventions #783:
Tankard Protection System
PATENT PENDING LUSH BK

THIS FROM FDC:
Madge, recently awarded Hash Dog of the Year, let her crown slip on her outings to Baldock. After visiting The Cock Inn for 1030 her master, Bangers, with an important bowling match to be at, scooped her up from the bench she was tied up to outside the pub. In his haste he forgot the lead. Nonetheless, two weeks later, after the embarrasment of wearing her No2 lead, it was a case of re-united again as Bangers redeemed his error and found the weatherworn lead still attached to the same bench. A spokesperson on behalf of Madge said 'It was great to have my old lead back, the plonker at the other end of it deserves the down-down'
WE SHOULD MAKE CLEAR TO NEW READERS THAT MADGE IS Canis lupis familiaris (A MUTT) AND NOT A HARRIETTE. IT IS NOT YET FORMAL H5 POLICY TO TIE HARRIETTES TO BENCHES OUTSIDE PUBS AND LEADS ARE RARELY USED IN PUBLIC THESE DAYS.