Lovely Legs no longer 11
RA has a nose for some things
Fizzy... Deca Mug .. at last
Hands up, Guest Hash Flash
3 mystified Newbees
Q. Why can't Noah play cards
A. Because he's always sitting on the deck.
Laying the trail on Saturday was pretty tough, particularly when I got a dose of "brain freeze" as the temperature seemed to plummet in the rain. All the fields were pretty waterlogged and the farmer had done his darndest to disguise the footpaths. Naughty Mr Giles!!
HM is asked by the hares to call the circle a bit early as the intro might take a tad longer than usual. Birthdays? Legs 11 steps forth. Three gorgeous newies - Sharon, Lorraine & Jo introduce themselves to the hash and then it's over to the hares.
A few Noah jokes were followed by a convoluted explanation of the special significance of run number 1024. For those that did not get follow our ramblings, basically 1024 is 1k in computer speak. So in honour of Mr Babbage (the inventor of the darn thing) the hares decided rather bizarrely to lay all the numbered checks in binary. A somewhat forward thinking hare decided to provide a set of tables for the conversion of binary to decimal numbers, so that there would be no excuses about not adhering to the checks.
So the theme of the run was the number two (or to put it another way - PAIRS). Examples of PAIRS? At the risk of making an ass of oneself and becoming the butt of jokes, the hare asked for some common examples of pairs. True to form Limp suggested Breasts and Shagpile suggested buttocks. Remarkably the clairvoyant hare had brought along an example of each of these specials forms of symmetry and in particular a photo of a very Callipygous young lady.
The hares then decided to clasp Rapid and Count Roadkill in a pair of handcuffs as retribution for some imagined misdemeanour. These handcuffs were then assigned to the RA to be allocated to hashers during the run by whatever whim should take his fancy.
Having spotted a Callipygian in our own ranks, the hare then informed the group that following the run, a secret ballot of admired attributes of fellow hashers would be held, with a much venerated prize awarded to the most favourited hasher.
By this time we were pretty late, so the on-on was called and so the 30 (or 11110 in base 2) hashers set off.
Pongo was positive that the trail would be left out of the pub car park, because as he said "it's always that way". Well it is "always that way", apart from this time and after a few falsies, the pack eventually sniffs out the correct trail.
The first check had myriad of false trails. The short cut option was taken by the three newies and that nice young man Limp. The rest of the pack took the trail towards the sewerage works (or "the works" as it is quaintly referred to on the OS map). Shagpile finds himself in the front followed in hot pursuit by the sylph like Lush. After a quick circumnavigation of the old Earth Works, the trail leads us back the way we came (please note that this pointless part of the trail was entirely down to Naughty Farmer Giles who had allowed his footpaths to become totally obliterated).
The next section of trail was very muddy and poor old Mekon in particular struggled as she added almost twice her body weight in the mud that stuck to her shoes. Happily we managed to get through this part of the trail without encountering the grumpy old landowner who had harangued PP the day before for not sticking to the footpaths (those same footpaths that Farmer Giles had allowed to fall into rack and ruin).
The next section of trail was even muddier than before and this time the mud really did take a firm grip of Mekon who got totally mired down and eventually couldn't move. The ever gallant Shagpile went to her rescue and gave her a firemans lift to the edge of the field.
The hares were getting slightly concerned by now as there was still no sign of the newies or Limp, so much so that PP decides to go on a search party.
There were no further significant events until we reached the Callipygous check for a peaches, pears and evaporated milk stop. Yummy!!! The last bit of the trail led up the hill and through the churchyard. One last false trail and it was down the other side of the hill and past the On-Inn. In deference to the Noahs Ark pub, and in keeping with the run theme, the hares insisted that the hashers pair up and run the final leg holding hands.
Fortunately the newies were found safe and sound back at the pub.
Circle up and down downs for the Hares, followed by the birthday girl, Legs 11, the newies, Sharon, Lorraine & Jo, and then a belated deca-mug for young Fizzy. Gorjoyce got a down down for some trivial misdemeanour that was then compounded when she threw her drink over her shoulder splashing young Grace. The hand-cuffed pairs were also brought to book. Some of the other awards were Stalking (Count Roadkill), New Shoes (Submissive), child neglect (Mekon & Frau) etc etc.
And finally, the clear winner of the Secret Ballot was LUSH for being in such fine form recently and her prize was a fine pair of Fifi's Chocolate Boobies.
Love you all - Capt F & PP
On-On to next week's run at
The Wagon & Horses, Eaton Socon
Hosted by Smiffo & Screamer
It's called Diver's Boot Syndrome
Off to church after the fruit salad check
Commando Kids display soiled knickers
Forking arrests suspected double agent
Count & Lush in down-down tangle