Run No 989

Monday 21 June 2010

Chez Captain Fantaastic, Shefford

Hare: Capt. F


Forkin' shows absent RA Rapid the
pristine condition of the Hashit

Mekon envious of Gorjoyce's new
sports bra. Stallion just mesmerised

H4's Limbs Sprouting gets the hashit BEFORE his first run with H5.
Phew, is this RA tough or what?

The Count powers through
[no need for sarcasm .. ed]

What with the punting trip being a bit of a washout and things not looking so bright on Sunday, I decided to lay the trail on Monday lunch-time. This turned out to be a faaaantaaaastic decision because the weather took a turn for the better which made laying the trail really enjoyable.
I reckon I spent about two hours laying the trail and I only saw two or three people in the entire time. The scenery was great and it was pleasantly warm.
The new monuments in Chicksands plantation inspired the hare to invent a new type of check. The acorn check, which can only be checked out by hashers in possession of NUTS (i.e. most male hashers and any hariettes in possession of a packet of KP dry roasted).
After assembling in the back garden the circle is called. For some reason Limbs Sprouting (our visiting newie) has been talked into wearing Forking?s filthy new hashit. Clearly a veteran hasher.
The pack is sent on its way. It was not long before Shagpile was back at the front door with a horrific leg injury. He'd got a sting from one of Sheffords nasty biting critters. We didn't have any brown paper or vinegar and no-one was ever going to volunteer to suck out the poison. Tarzan being ever nimble minded remembered the jar of Shallots in the back of the food cupboard. Having quickly decanted the lumpy bits, the remaining fluid was then applied to Shagpiles throbbing leg [which does not bear thinking about..ed] injury. I was wondering what that smell was when I got back, but as ever I was far too polite to bring it up.
I hope you were all impressed with Sheffords newest tourist attraction. The 'Shefford pole' is certainly the biggest erection in these here parts.
The run was fairly typical for a Shefford run. I think Pongo referred to it as the C run (there are only three) but with a smattering of the B run thrown in. I was fairly happy with my variation of running Cock-Shoot Hill counter-clockwise as it did allow for a classic figure of 8 route. Re-use of trail is also quite helpful when you don't carry enough flour to start with.
There's not much more to say really. Actually it's more the fact that there is not much more that I can remember, but below I have listed a few things:
1. Mekon returned early refusing to come into the long grass with me
2. Knobber got left behind at some point with a desperate urge to remedy the impending water shortage
3. There were loads of numbered checks and these did their job pretty well, because for most of the time the pack did in fact stay pretty much together.
4. The visiting hashers are simply too fit and in future we may have to provide some sort of handicapping measures.
5. The scenery was great, but I am biased.
6. Sheffords new tourist attractions must surely be the ninth wonder of the world and will almost certainly put this sleepy little town well and truly on the international site seeing map [and inflate the price of local housing no doubt .. ed].
After getting everyone back to base (it took about 1 hour 15) it was great to see that Shagpile & Tarzan had managed to get the pork-pies and Pimms all ready and waiting. I hope you all enjoyed it, as much as we did [we jolly well did .. ed].
Pongo - your Tartan Jewel Cake was just brill. Hopefully it won't be too long before I can get to taste it again.
As for down-downs I haven't a clue. I remember getting one myself for double booking a dinner date with my new neighbours for the evening of the hash and then having to go and apologise for my c*ck up. That Pimms down-down was probably what did my memory in, because it was pretty strong stuff.
I reckon that Forking must have had a fair amount to drink, because he managed to leave behind the hashit, toilet seat and both RA trays [it's your birthday Shuffle ..ed]. It was his birthday so I guess he can be excused this misdemeanour on this occasion.
Our 2nd timer Brian got the Good Crack award for erring on the side of athleticism.
Oh one last thing. Did anyone put some cheese away in one of our kitchen drawers? Come Wednesday it was ponging dreadfully and took a bit of tracking down. I only ask cos I got the blame for it from Tarzan. Given my recent track record this is probably fair, but I thought I would ask.

ON-ON to Run 990 - at Ringer's pad

Capt Fantaaaastic

Capt F whittles a fine erection

2 nuts and a birthday boy...


Heron, Gone Fishin'

Submissive and LBK learn that
Hare speaks with forked tongue

Shuffle writes on Punting 2010:

Punting, food, drinks and company were all excellent, weather was crap. Mucho gracias, grazie tanto and spasiba to Capt F and Tarzan for organizing it all and ferrying everyone's gear around.