Run No 981

Sunday 25 April 2010

Horse & Jockey, Ravensden

Hares: Entry Entry & PP

HASHERS: 20  MUTTS: 3  ANKLE BITERS: 1  VISITORS: 2

Well.... I'd set myself a challenge of trying to find a location where H5 hadn't run before and it took some doing but I got there in the end. The longest serving members of the H5 clan confirmed we were indeed in "virgin" territory, not an expression familiar to our very own "Layer of the Year" Airscrew who not only holds the award but also confesses to recording all his lays and how long they last! The Scribe is trying to get hold of a copy of "Airscrew's Memorable Lays....the sequel" to feature on the website, it may have to be the edited version of course.

The hares got to the pub only a few minutes before the start of the run, Double Entry arriving a little harrassed after spending the last hour dashing around Ravensden countryside reinstating the washed away flour, PP having had to wait for Gorjoyce to decide what to wear. Two visitors from the Baaaarkshire Hash were welcomed, Slapper and No Sole, we're pleased you could join us.

There were no birthdays but a very important announcement, well health warning really, that Skidmark had eaten Fahitas the night before. Many tried to stay ahead of her during the run.

"The on is out there somewhere" was announced and off the pack went, taking two false trails before finding the correct path. At least when you've not run in the area before there were no mutterings of it's always this way! The walkers had already been directed down the correct route but at the end of the bridleway the path became unclear and as G- String went from bar to bar (unfortunately not of the alcoholic kind) he looked at me as if to say you've deceived me. Was he forgetting what an honest hare I am as he was in fact in the right place, it is just Farmer Giles had not left the right of way clearly marked. So across the field we headed.

There was then a split for the short cutters and due to the runners going down another false trail we all arrived at the Held Check, also known as The Jelly Baby Stop, around the same time. Here Rapid stole PP's flour bottle......I'm not too sure how long it took PP to notice this as he seemed more worried about his Jelly Babies, but he knew who the culprit would be. I wonder if we can start fining Team RA in future....how rich we would be!!

Confusion then reigned as hashers checked out several routes but had difficulty finding the right path, through a gate and up to the road.....which resulted in G-String being an FRB and running like a man on the moon, followed closely by Underlay impersonating him. At the end of the trail a debate took place as to whether the imperfectly formed 8 was in fact a ladies check, as Shagpile told everyone about the varying sizes of a left and right breast. This isn't his only specialist subject though, he's also very knowledgeable about the inside of dog's ears......a new hobby he's recently discovered.

While Shagpile is actually trying to help animals though, Lush Big Knickers has been reported to the RSPCA for throwing her down down all over poor unsuspecting Max....don't worry Max, we'll make sure she has the scent of a sheep next week!

It was then across the road, past the farm and out into the fields where Airscrew was like a supermarket trolley, never quite going the way you intended and veering diagonally across the fields but he did always obey the number checks.........although trying to read the maps along the route isn't allowed Airscrew!

A few large numbers checks caught out most people and then it was On Inn back to the pub. Due to the colourful Lush Big Knickers running like a gazelle at the end, well it was homeward bound with a glass of wine in sight afterall, she was awarded the FRB. It appears that some hashers have their preferred or favourite hashits, as Pussies and Scrummy swapped Willy for Balls and vice versa during the run....I'll leave you to guess who prefers what.

There was another naming ceremony, one that the RA enjoyed just a little too much if the truth be known, as poor PE teacher Martin was named Lost Cause for no other reason than being one. The cruel RA, who should in fact be a teacher himself with phrases like "it's your own time your wasting", made Martin kneel on the concrete floor until Pussies took pity on him and gave him a towel for his knees......aaaahhh.

It was a shame it was a little cloudy on the day as the panoramic views from the top of the hill are fantastic as pointed out by Thongo, and in his own words Ravensden is a place to revisit in the future. We may have been a shock to the locals though, who live in some large houses with some expensive cars...... perhaps this will become a new base for the Gorjoyce Dating Agency!

Most of the down downs were for misdemeanours already described above but there was one which needs to be mentioned. Forking, when you return from your cruise liner, you'll be glad to know that Lush Big Knickers took great care of you with her hands.

So it's ON ON to a run with PP and Shufflecock on Bank Holiday Monday. PP will be soooo relieved to have a relaxing lay next week. Good Luck in finding the location in Hitchin, it's the Highlander if the weather isn't nice and a park or piece of greenland if it is....... look to the sky to help you decide on the multiple choice answer!

On On Double Entry