Run No 976

Sunday 14 March 2010

Engineers Arms, Henlow
(H4 Parasitic)

Hare: Mr. Y

HASHERS: 15  MUTTS: 1  APRES: 2  + H4

Shuffle's got it made, has he not? His local is The Engineers and he is building up quite an impressive harem of hashing chauffeuses. Not only that but he comes up with bright ideas. Like "I'm haring next week but I can't be arsed and H4 are at The Engineers so why don't we parasite them?". I suppose one good reason was that we hashed from there 3 weeks ago and another is we have a joint with H4 next week, but let's not be picky.
Well, credit where it's due, the lad got away with it. It was indeed a good hash and well worth the cycle ride from Potton Shagpile and Underlay agreed: one of the few things they do agree on when on that tandem.
H4 fulfilled their side of the bargain they didn't know they had and supplied a hare (let us call him Mr. Y because I'm damned if I can remember any other name for him), in fact a very rare form of hare, one that - at least with his mouth - told the truth. He said it would be a short run and short it was: we were back at the pub by ten to noon, but more of that later.
With his dust Mr. Y was a teller of extreme porky pies, turning a fairly straightforward trot to Arlesey Bridge by Henlow Grange into something more complex with the aid of a couple of lengthy and convincing falsies.
Highlights of the outing were a Jelly Baby stop - always welcome - and an early return to The Engineers. Or so we thought. Not only wasn't the pub open, but when the lady with the key eventually turned up she had the wrong key. Feet away from some lovely ales and locked OUT. Something wrong there shurely. Hares have swung for less.
Today was the day of the Team RA relaunch: a new image given a veneer of substance by the obligatory freebies. Double Entry was awarded a (used) FDC T-shirt for being sarcastic enough to covet it (or him, I was a bit lost here) and required to take her down-down in a very impressive Team RA mug. How cool is that? And I've a feeling there's more to come. Does any other hash have an RA to rival our's for empyreal pretentiousness?
In the circle H4 played their joker: quite literally. Shaggy Plug is - and he did try, with no success, to explain this to us in his own language - from the North of England, wherever that is, and visiting Herts to watch his beloved Accrington Stanley [sic] scrape a draw at Barnet, and enjoy H4's hospitality (I may have some of these words wrong, but you get my drift). He is a true hasher and great value, reducing even the hardened Mr.X to beer tears when he begged H4 and H5 - through a translator - to put aside our differences and hash together in peace and harmony.
Fat chance. I'm not hashing with those buggers again for at least a week.

ON ON TO THE FAIRWAY TAVERN, PANSHANGER, WELWYN GARDEN

Scribe
(Seriously though Mr.X and Team H4, thanks for the run)

SHAGGY PLUG'S BLACKPOOL WEEKEND 17/19 SEPTEMBER LOOKS GOOD
TRACK HIM DOWN ON:
blackpuddinghashers.vpweb.co.uk/NextRunVenues

Lest these pages get a reputation for censorship we feel obliged to pass on these worms of wisdom from Forking Dickchair, he of the T-Shirt fame. You will like them:

While the Count waits for his voluptuous nubile female assistant that he can offer hands on experience to, how about a bit of Forking to fill in on a run that was shared with H4 and without any hare of our own here goes? Let me take you back to my very first ever hash run. It was 1984, Frankie goes to Hollywood and all that music, a friend in the army had a Sony upright record player. I was based in Germany and barely out of school other than a YTS placement where I was making more money than I ever got paid by claiming the 55 pence bus fare each day despite the fact I cycled to Luton for a month or two. I soon took the Queen's shilling and thought the army offered me an outlet. I soon found it as I was running for the Regiment most weeks. One weekend the cross country training was replaced by a visiting hash house harrier pack that filled a Saturday afternoon with another run. Was I interested, is the Pope a Catholic? The late General Sir Nigel Bagnell was the starter, as we all lined up waiting for him to drop the Union Jack flag. Having never hashed before, let alone got any idea of how it works I was FRBing away into the forest wondering where the competition was that afternoon? All I remember is the route was circular around an old disused quarry. I was often diving into the bushes looking for this trail we were all supposed to be following. I never saw any, but what I remember more about that day than anything was the after run drinking. Several games, from the boat race to bottle drop, strip poker and a crate of beer that just went on and on and on. One of the officers present quoted "Copious quantities of falling-over water were consumed". I never thought any more of hash running for years. I thought it was a military pastime. Many years, twelve fraulines later I was living back home with Bangers and mum, when I chanced upon a shop customer buying sausages while wearing a Belgian hash T shirt. His name was Brian [does he drink at the bricklayers.... ed] and we went to a couple of runs with H5, one being a White Rabbit two hour special. Brian left the country, closely pursued for tax purposes. Without a friend it was nigh impossible for me to find out about this exciting non-curriculum sport I so craved. Thank goodness for Mrs Forking for marrying me in 2001 and us going on line. I was searching the web and after finding H5 haven't looked back. Enough of that and what about run 976 at the Engineers arms, it was memorable for the pub being locked till what seemed like half past midday as the cleaner had double locked the front door thus barring the barmaid from opening with her single key. You've read the words, and some have got the T-shirt so it's on-on to another shared H4 run in Welwyn at the Fairway Tavern. FORKING DICK CHAIR

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