Run 1020

26 December 2010

The Chequers, Woolmer Green

Hares: The Count & Lady P

HASHERS: 22  ANKLE BITERS: 1  MUTTS: 2

Just what Lady P needed - a morning lay on Christmas Day - but it had to be done as the options were limited, with a tart to be finished off before 1020, and she entered into it with gusto. Too much gusto for some of the lanes around Woolmer Green, ice covered as they were after last week's snow had been compacted by vehicles, but it was The Count who ended up on his backside after an ill placed boot (his own for once).

Hence, after a circle delayed somewhat while the presiding Hash Mattress and her entourage arrived and decamped, the Hare's Warning: beware of five things ice, ice, ice, ice, ice and ice. Sure enough, once a field had been crossed in the St Stephen's Day sunshine, Mardley Wood negotiated and the A1(M) underpassed, the hash arrived at those slippery lanes. And as night follows day, someone had to fall and it was .... none other than our own HM Scrummy Dumps, who finished quite an impressive routine with a slide worthy of Strictly. The initial self-diagnosis of dislocated shoulder was politely considered - after Hash Flash had taken the obligatory snap - and Lush, despite being busy carrying an armful of surplus clothing, found time to give advice along the lines "get up you silly bitch, you're fine". Thankfully Scrummy was at least the latter.
All this went on way behind a pack that had crossed the A1(M) back to Mardley Wood - lead by Underlay and the seriously underclad Seaman Stains - and were soon to enjoy a Jelly Baby stop accompanied by the ritual rubbing of snow into Submissive and a snowball fight unwisely initiated by Shufflecock.

Just enough time to lose Jas in the Wood - he found a check missed by the pack on their way out, but soon rediscovered the trail home - before some chips and roasties (the first of many for Grace) by the open fire at The Chequers. And a chance to meet Emily Skidmark (aged 15 days) for the first time: she was clearly very impressed by the whole experience.
Down-downs for FDC (well, he was RA), Bangers (for abusing his status as Ludite), G-String (for allegedly fathering), Scrummy (technology abuse) and Underlay & Shagpile (for crimes to trivial to remember). The new FDC Hashit went to Submissive (remind me, Shuffle) and the FRB Award to Scrummy (who needs the chains on her feet).
It was briefly ON ON to Bear 'All where Lady P had mulled some wine to general approval, before sights were set on the H5 Christmas Lunch at The Wheatsheaf in Tempsford

THE COUNT.