Run No 960

Bull, Barton-le-Clay

Sunday, 22 November 2009

Hares: Ringer & Shufflecock

HASHERS: 17  ANKLE BITERS: 1  RETURNEE: 1  MUTTS: 1  APRES: 1

It being well-known that when Hare Ringer doth lay a run from this hostelry, it involveth much huffyng and puffyng, moanyng and groanyng, as the steep inclynes and declynes of the surrounding acres are traversed, it was decided it be shewn that a level course can be achieved.

And so was it planned - at 08.30 in the forenoon, Ringer and Shufflecock did gather at the hostelry with quantity aplenty of milled cereal grayns. The good Reverends Team RA had bestowed sunshine on the scene, so with good cheer the Hares set out upon their noble quest.

Upon return to the hostelry, ominous black clouds did gather in the firmament [do you mean the landlord?....Ed], causyng some consternation, but trustyng to the power of RAs, no worry to the Hares was caused. Soon thereafter, the good Lords and Ladies did begyn to assemble, my Lord Smiffo and Lady Screamer being closely followed by my Lord Donut and the fine Lady Ward 10 (Hash Mum). My Lord Bangers did bryng Mistress Legs and a recovered Madge, the latter having been lately attended by a veterinary man for an ailment to a leg. By ten minutes before the appointed hour a fine company was present, cheeryng greatly the heart of the Hares. My Lord G-String and my Lady Skidmark did arrive in a golden coach with offspring Grace and hound Rainbow. All were attyred for inclement weather, except my Lord, who, not long after the On Out, did complayn about the wetness on his bare legs, and so did make hasty retreat to his coach and thence back to his lordly manor house.

As though to the down-beat of a celestial conductor, two minutes before the ON Out the aforementioned black clouds did begyn to put precipitation onto the heads of those gathered below. Surely the RAs will not permit any serious deluge will they? A non-election the previous evenyng saw an almost unchanged Mismanagement, except for New Hash Master Lord Shagpile (the Lady Underlay hath been appointed the new Hash Mistress/Mattress), who uttered the necessary incantations of the openyng Circle. A warm welcome was extended to returnee Lord Rajah, he having been absent these past months; we learned that he was lately returned from honeymoon and was come into a state of wedded bliss.

My Lord Smiffo, having eyes liken to those of an eagle, did call OnOn before leaving his spot in the Circle and the pack did follow his lead. But my Lord was misled and accordingly so were the rest of the humble Hashers. Divers false trails were explored before the correct path in the direction of the Sharpenhoe Clappers was decyded upon. Up over the broad northbound Queen's highway known locally as the A6, the pack turned into the woods adjacent to said highway, where much shiggy was encountered, it being most foully aided by rain which was now fallyng in considerable amount - my Lord Smiffo had occasion to traverse the said shiggy no less than four times!

As had been previously agreed, the two Hares split. One conducted a small group of short-cutters (Donut and Legs), while the other continued on to fields and pathways anew. Passing through one of the new-fangled Garden Centre, soon after, a long false trail was greeted enthusiastically and expression was made to the hare in no uncertain terms on how much they had appreciated it. A path across a newly ploughed and sown field caused much of the said field to become attached to the footwear of the pack. It is rumoured that a discourse between Lord Shagpile and Lady Truly Scumptious was overheard concerning a bathtub and swarfega, but it beyng indelicate to listen further, we cannot confirm or deny this salacious comment. My Lord Rajah did encounter number checks on frequent occasions, showyng that he hath lost none of his former speediness.

Back at the inn exactly on the stroke of noon, wet Hashers did divest themselves of outer clothing and did don dry vestments before entering the hostelry where they did receive good welcome from the generous landlord - my Lord Airscrew did make enquiry about victuals, but was told he must wait until the appropriate hour (12.30 in this case). Fortunately the good Lady P had secreted some delicious cheese-topped scones into the room, which helped abey his hunger. Thereafter the closing Circle was called, at which my Lord PP did offer libations to the Hares for their most excellent work. RA Rapid Withdrawal did attempt to make pitiful excuse about the rain, but this was cryed down by Hashers and he was sorely blamed. An award was made to my Lady Nik-Nak for completing 300 runs in 8 years (but it must surely be longer) and arriving late for 295 of them.

On-On to The Noah's Ark at Shillington next week
Ringer & Shufflecock