Run No 958

Three Horseshoes, Hinxworth

Sunday, 8 November 2009

Hares: Double Entry & Private Parts

HASHERS: 24  RETURNEES: 1  NEWBEES: 2  ANKLE BITERS: 4  MUTTS: 1  APRES: 1

Firstly recognition of an all important day, Rememberance Sunday. Hashers wore their poppies as a mark of respect, Muddy Waters read a poem and a two minute silence followed.

It was a lovely Saturday for laying, although it seemed to take many an hour. This was partly the result of lots of options to try and accommodate all and partly due to a little misplacement by co-hare Private Parts [now if I didn't know better I'd say DE was mistress of the double entendre ....Ed]. I'd planned the route and so we laid most of it together, but at one point we split up and when PP later caught up with me he said "the path didn't come out where I thought it would and I'm not sure where I've laid the On Inn". Now is that just me or does that not fill you with confidence? So this part of the trail was later revisited and with a few corrective actions the On Inn made it to it's rightful home.

On the actual day there was quite a turn out, the largest number for some months, including a few returnees, newbee Anna and several "not very often sighted" hashers, amongst which were Knobber (and family), Mekon (and family) and Lush Big Knickers who managed to drag herself out from under her duvet this week to support her friend as hare. PP had half expected that she might turn up with the duvet still wrapped around her, instead it was the usual vibrant clothing that you've all come to know and love....it'll come in handy on foggy days!

Could it be the weather that encouraged so many "eager" Sunday hashers? Following an appeal on the website last week and a recent feature on TV programme Crimewatch, two of the three members of the notorious Team RA Gang were found and returned to their "community" this week, and with alot of making up to do for last week's continual rainfall Forking and Legs pulled out all the stops....no rain during the run and even the odd spell of sunshine! However the ringleader of this gang is still at large. Rumour has it Rapid has crossed international borders and is currently hiding in the US, so the appeal for what can now only be described as one of "Britain's Most Wanted" (look at the photofit, scary!) will go international this week.

Talking of photos, the Paparazzi were out in force this week and relentless to the end! Her Majesty's Press Photographer (as he likes to call himself, we know him as Hash Flash) has been struggling to capture the oh so fast Double Entry on camera and so enlisted the help of some fellow flashers which included Captain Faantastic, Donut, Forking and Shagpile, amongst others (I spotted you Lady P).

Shagpile didn't pose a real threat as the camera on his phone had a delayed reaction (a bit like its owner...only joking Shagpile) and so by the time he'd flashed at me I'd already put my hand out! [no, I'm not going there...Ed. For the remaining Paparazzi, my legal team will be in touch......it's thought the accused will stand trial for "stalking"...... .if camera's were seized and photos viewed for evidence, do you not think sooooo many pictures of just one lady could easily result in a "Guilty" verdict......keep the money coming and this will go no further......! need it to pay The Count!

[stick with this, it's well worth it and the actual run starts very soon .....Ed]

The run began with the usual circle up. Captain Faantastic took charge but it seems he had forgotten what to do, although he was caught unawares. The run was number "something or other", he had to be prompted to ask about birthdays, to which Andy stepped in to wear the birthday hat, not revealing his age just a remark that he is lots of years....he probably didn't want to make his dad (The Count) feel old. Captain F was then prompted to say anniversaries but didn't hear and said hares in to the circle instead. Unfortunately just as PP and I stepped into the circle he suddenly remembered to call out anniversaries much to the amusement of the other hashers with several remarks following. The On On was rapidly pointed out but there is always the odd hasher that runs off in the wrong direction, isn't there Ringer?

It was an early longish false trail for the FRBs, and then on on to the correct trail, heading off across the fields to Caldecote. The hashers had been warned of an excessive route, although it was to time, and so a few chose the early short cut. They were advised it was an extremely short short cut but seemed happy with this and following the arrows meandered through the countrside and made it safely back to the pub.

The rest of us carried on through the fields, being weighed down by the mud (or is it shiggy), where a number check caught out a few of the front runners, but not Shaggy this week. Was it the previously awarded FRB ball and chain that was slowing him down to a walk at times or perhaps the curry and drinks chez Shufflecock the night before?!

On On to a held check where there was a little short cut to give the non front runners a head start down a long track. The others ran off round the church, and then back onto the trail to join the short cutters. Unfortunately they didn't catch up with us before the number check which meant Shagpile, Lush Big Knickers and Nicky had to head to the back, with Nicky muttering something along the lines of "I should have brought my camera".....sorry Nicky!

A ladies check followed shortly afterwards and in the usual hash fashion newbee Anna was sent one way, up the hill, although she wouldn't have had a clue what she was looking for poor girl. Lush Big Knickers followed close behind, but that wasn't very reassuring for Anna either as LBK had clearly forgotten the signs and looked around bewildered. Walnut Whip Willy wasn't far behind them and came to their rescue, although he later received a down down for being a lady! (Technically he was behind two ladies but Team RA don't accept technicalities). Nicky was already heading off in the right direction back to Hinxworth so we all followed.

Not long afterwards the words "open your legs and run, nothing will fall out" drifted across the hillside and it was clear Shagpile had been caught out by the final number check! He had scored the run a 9 out of 10 up to that point but I have a feeling the marks may have deteriorated as he walked to the back for a second time. The final held check was reached and incase anyone didn't feel like they had run enough, an option of an extra 10 minute loop was offered but it was clear all hashers were worn out and requiring a pint as they all declined, much to the relief of PP who had been front running hare with lots of fast running FRBs this week. Thanks PP.

So it was ON INN for some mince pies and Christmas cake slices....well it is less than 7 week to Xmas afterall....possibly less than 6 weeks by the time Forking finished the circle! The Count also provided a tin of Roses (a treat for the Camera Crew) [courtesy of Ward 10 actually, thanks "Mum".. Ed].

The usual down downs were awarded, most of them relating to incidents mentioned above but the additional ones I recall in between dodging the cameras were:

Newbee Anna was welcomed to the hash and had a second drink for showing her athletism (perhaps she had been told this was a serious running group??), Scrummy Dumps for something to do with smelling roses, Skidmark for buying babies (not sure this one should be publicised though!)

And the FRB award went to Shagpile..... no your not seeing things, you read it correctly the first time!

On On to the Coach & Horses, Blggleswade

Double Entry

And FDC wins the prize for photo of the week for his study "Skidmark in Control"