Flo does her Tommy Cooper
Nik Nak has a paddle in the Med
Squat dresses up local style
The Count in red dress mode
The Australian Englishman abroad
Jimmy takes a breakfast order
After weeks of waiting the journey begins, with most of the group arriving at Luton airport, Flo notes the two positive features of Luton, namely the airport and the Ml, which at least make it possible to get away! Lady P visits duty free and buys the whole of the drinks section. Meanwhile at Gatwick, in an effort worthy of Lush Big Pants, PP drinks almost a whole bottle of wine before even getting on the plane! We all meet up in Antalya, find ourselves a villa and then go for a midnight feast and immediately ingratiate ourselves with Jimmy at the local eatery.
A late start - after breakfast at Jimmy's we spend the morning relaxing at the pool and watching terrapins and frogs in a neighbouring pond. During the afternoon Underlay and others head for a local Hamam (Turkish Bath) for a thoroughly enjoyable cleansing while the rest of us decide to walk to the beach. We only get a mile or so down the road before stopping for a beer - then cheat and get a taxi the rest of the way! We find a beachside restaurant and decide to order lunch. Unfortunately our knowledge of Turkish is limited, and all the waiter can tell us is if each dish contains meat or not, but not which one. Shagpile resolves the situation by doing a series of animal noises - where's Cunning Linguist when you need her?
Our first evening is spent trying to light a barbeque using a combination of fire-proof paper and olive oil - eventually this works! The spoils of Lady P's trip to duty free is seriously diminished during the course of the evening, with frightening results: Several people end up naked in the pool. Count Roadkill ripped off Shagpile's speedos (nobody knows why) - but Lady P ended up wearing them as a hat. These antics should serve as a warning of the risks of excessive drink!!!
Another slow start to the day, the reason for this being indicated by the huge collection of empty bottles; no complaints of hangovers though! We take a drive into the hills towards Koprulu Kanyon and the very ancient Roman Bridge. We are forced to omit the amphitheatre visit because of a heavy rain storm. The letters RA are combined with some very rude words indeed. We return to the beach restaurant, where it isn't actually raining, and discover an utterly revolting drink that is cheaper than creme de menthe - turnip juice: Count Roadkill is the first victim, and Flo is soon gagging from the same beverage. What a great down-down drink that would make.
Today marks the start of Eurohash, so we lock up the villa and drive to the hotel, stopping in the centre of Antalya for sightseeing, shopping and beer. Neither Shagpile
[Missing line(s): Archive Ed.]
out how to turn 5 double rooms into 3 doubles, a single and a triple. With that done we relax with a nice beer by the pool (by nice I mean slightly nasty and watered-down). The drinking session is cut short when the GM is abducted from the poolside by three girls from the Antalya Hash. The rest of the night is spent failing to get drunk on the dodgy watery beer.
By a combination of hearsay, astrology and guesswork we manage to catch the right bus to the run (the communication from Eurohash management could have been better). PP and the Count both manage to miss the earlier bus for the 20Km Ball-Breaker run, but nobody believes that this was accidental. In the end most of us opt for the 7.5Km route, which offers some great views of a canyon and some buttocks. At the circle, H5 take control of the bath containing the circle's beer (the hash beer was quite pleasant, as opposed to the watery stuff at the hotel) which means a tax of one kiss for Pussies for each can. PP gets a down-down as GM, but fortunately for him there are quite a lot of GMs so the ice is not used. We return to the hotel to sober up a little, ready for the following day after an evening dressed in red.
The next day's hang-over run is a shorter one from the hotel. The hares manage to lead the pack up a long, steep hill that turns out to be false. The real trail cuts back to the beach. The problem here is that the FRBs are stopped by a hotel security guard who refuses to let us pass over the bridge to the next section. After a few minutes though the single guard decides that he is somewhat outnumbered by 500-odd hashers and we swarm through to complete the trail. The circle is kept brief so that people can leave to catch flights home. We return to the Villa and have lukewarm (or cold) showers because of a lack of hot-water.
Today started with a bang - literally as the hot water tank on the roof explodes at 8am. We spend a few hours learning about the inadequacies of Turkish plumbing before heading to a big market along the coast. This market seems to consist of the same 5 stalls (all selling T-shirts, belts, watches, etc.) repeated several hundred times. Our visit to Side is much more satisfactory - some excellent Roman ruins, a camel or two and an ice-cream all help to while away a sunny afternoon, before we meet up again for a drink by the harbour. The evening is spent in Jimmy's where we are treated to a slap-up Turkish meal.
Our final day in Turkey, as we fly home this evening. Nik-Nak decides that she needs to visit at least one of the waterfalls nearby, and she, Flo, OverFlo, Pussies and PP spend several happy hours wandering through a delightful shady glen taking photographs and generally having fun. It makes a pleasant end to the trip, and after a little faffing about we get to the airport in good time for the journey home.
On Back to Beds
["PS" the GM said "I still can't get that damned song out of my head". Can't think what he means ... Scribe]
PP takes water with his wine
Underlay at the canyon
Shagpile tries on Squat's bra
Lady P pampered at the hamam
Puppies shows off her jugs
Travelling Stan visits the beach