Run 905

The Cross Keys, Totternhoe

Sunday, 30 November 2008

Hares: Ringer & Forking

HASHERS: 10  ANKLE BITERS: 1  MUTTS: 1


We were warned ...


.. it was more like a bobsleigh run.


The new Nike Plastliner, as modelled by FDC

Just looked at my (Ringer) last Words, which started: Flaming June. Flaming June! Bloody June!, Sodd'n June! And so it proved once again; conditions were, shall we say, testing. Capt. F called the circle to order, then relocated it to be around White Rabbit, who was away from the centre of things, donning footwear.

The hash set off, down to a bridge over a little stream. The wet weather laid on by the new RA Rapid Withdrawal made the area around the stream rather marshy, muddy and wet, and it didn't get any better. The best dressed hasher for these conditions was Megan in her pink wellies who showed Grandpa Donut how to do it. Despite the cunning hares laying a run initially in the opposite direction, after many falsies and number checks it was worked out that the route would probably be around Totternhoe quarry. With first class shiggy laid on it was amazing under the slippery conditions that the shiggy wasn't laid in as well - well it was; the Count measured his length in it (I might just reword that) and nearly lost his camera (with all our valuable pics) in the stuff. Several other hashers came in close contact as well. At one number check of 6 it was lucky that six hashers were still doggedly pressing on uphill in the driving rain in conditions underfoot not too different from those familiar with Glastonbury. Halfway round the route, in a crater resembling a scene Knobber compared to the Somme, extreme terrain had to be traversed. It could be compared to a typical entry level course to joint the Royal Commandos. Pussies Galore was not scared of going commando and still wearing her colourfully trimmed pixie hat was helped up and down the greasy incline by Sherpa Bangers.
At circle up a couple of firsts in the history of H5 were made. Never in Count Roadkill's memory had we held a circle across the road from the pub in a brick bus shelter (which had also doubled as a changing room). From there, the new HM Captain Fantaastic led a rendition of a new song to the tune of Do-Ray-Me which, with the acoustics of the bus stop, sounded so much sweeter. This was heard as far away as in the pub where the landlord, not to be messed about with, came over to say in the manner of Inspector Blakey "You can't do that in there", reflecting on past experiences with whining winos who had previously caused him to have his collar felt by the law for allowing his drinks to be consumed off his premises. After a quick apology the circle scuttled back to the pub car park, considering it the first time we had ever been thrown *into* a pub, and resumed. Down-downs were awarded to Hares Ringer and repeat offender Forking Dickchair, to Capt F for being back at the pub where on the Hash's last visit, he locked his keys in his car, along with many others.

OnOn to next week, The Red Lion at Breachwood Green

Forkin' & Ringer


Pussies shows off her new chastity belt


A first? That circle in a brick bus shelter


RA cheers us up despite another weather gaff