2 June 2008
The Farmer's Boy, Kensworth
Hares: Ringer & Nik-Nak
HASHERS: 11 APRES: 2
Flaming June. Flaming June! Bloody June!, Sodd'n June! The RA did his best for us bless him, and for the most part we got away with it, although the look on his face when he said "It'll be alright" did not fill us with confidence. However...The Prologue. Y'ahl pull up some stools naaaw, and I'll tells yah what happened. Steady naaw, y'ah knows how we do'es things reeeeal slow darn here in the Deep Saaath of the coun'y.
Lay the run at 5 pm. So I'm thinking about leaving work w*** when at quarter to four, it starts to drizzle - forecast is heavy rain before midnight - b*ll*cks. However by the time I got to the pub - a new location (see photo) - it had just about eased off. So your two hares set off with waterproofs, a map, a simple plan and oodles of flour (noticed how Hashing's getting more expensive these days?). The plan was for a shortish run, remembering the weather forecast and the advancing years of Hashers (in particular one of the Hares who is definitely not getting younger!) So amble, amble, yak, yak, dob, dob and the job's done (in 2 hours - hmm, thought it would be less). Arrive back at the pub and our small band is beginning to assemble - excellent - including an unusually tall Hasher on bionic leg attachments (see photo) - no Shagpile, you don't look out of place at all (he was barred from Hashing on them, thank God, by Underlay, who seems to want to keep him in one piece (how odd!)
GM Donut calls the circle to order; there being no barfdays, hennyversaries or the like, it's over to the hares, and we're On Out. FKA Duck took an early lead - in the wrong direction and came back to meet Underlay who had checked out the other direction and found a T. The alternative was the lane past the farm and we're off and walking. Between Kensworth and Church End, the terrain goes steeply downhill and steeply uphill again - the nice hares had put number checks at both the bottom and the top of the slopes. At the check at the top of the hill (3 to the back), Shagpile in 3rd place, suffered a shoelace failure just yards short of the check and had to spend the next 3 minutes fixing it until the back of the pack had almost caught up before he set off back. However this did not escape the eagle-eyed RA.
Two VERY long falsies, designed to run the kn*ckers off the FRBs and give the hares a fighting chance, proved beneficial, and it was politely acknowledged by Cardiac that they had indeed done their job. Through the churchyard and round a loop brought us to a check that seems to confuse everyone. Back and forth from the check to the path we went, until Donut strode off correctly across the field - the path does not look like a path. The trail leads us back to the main road through Kensworth, via a path equivalent to the down and up-hill one encountered previously, coming out by a now-closed pub (The Old Red Lion). "I can see the pub (nearly)" was the cry (the other pub), but no, it's across the road, down a private road and a footpath that runs though a wooded section. By now time is moving on and the lead Hare makes the Executive decision to short-circuit the last part of the run and use the alternative On Inn. Back at the pub at 8.30 on the dot - result.
Waiting for us there are Gorjoyce, Pongo and London Pride. On Out to the closing circle and it's p*ssing down so we huddle under the smokers' shelter and are soon joined by 3 of its more usual occupants. Down-downs for the Hares - well Chardonnay for one Hare actually (Shagpile: "this Hash is getting poncy"). Forking Deckchair produced foxy pink nightwear that Nik-Nak (eventually) claimed - he never did explain with any degree of satisfaction exactly how it came to be in his possession. Down-downs for sundry good reasons, including FKA Duck for being a luminous yellow dot on the horizon, and the toilet seat was awarded to Nik-Nak.
OnOn to next week