Run 870

The Recreation Centre, Offley

Sunday, 13 April 2008

Hares: Forking Dickchair, Bangers 'n' Madge

(and White Rabbit, injured but apres)

HASHERS: 11  ANKLE BITERS: 2  NEWBEES: 1 MUTTS: 1 APRES: 1

On the day before the Hash the hares got together. 'This route is a bit long' said Forking Dickchair to White Rabbit, 'This bit through the Isle of Dogs for a start will have to go, and you can't lay a run with a two hour five minute finish'. There on a table was a bottle that said 'drink me' and this potion was hastily down-downed. As if by magic the route suddenly shrunk and in a cloud of sausages Bangers 'n' Madge appeared to help the hares.

On the day of the hash Forkings' shorts spoke; 'To help all the hasher find this hidden venue I shall make a sign' and promptly strung themselves in the car park for all to see. One of the first to arrive was Captain Fantaaaastic on his bicycle. The circle was formed and set off to seek the route. About a couple of hundred yards up the road Nik Nak was seen gaining an unfair advantage over everyone by parking in the Red Lion pub. Now all together the pack was led by Donut into the countryside where there were lambs, bluebells and a pack of white deer spotted. Many a false route was found and Pongo complemented the R.A. on the beautiful weather and scenery he had laid on.

There was a Lady check which Flo, Screamer and Lady Pee checked out. Having reached the fields on the side of the A505 to Hitchin it was time for a juvenile check. This was carried out with the enthusiasm of a baggage handler at terminal 5 as Splitblox, Munchkin and Air Con reluctantly trooped down the false trails. Soon an ultimatum was reached when it was making your mind up time for the short cutters, led by Mekon to sample the village sights of Offley.

The running pack followed Rapid Withdrawal, Smiffo and Count Roadkill who set off down the downhill bit, closely followed by a steep uphill climb of the north face of Birkitt Hill. Five Bah was later heard to shout 'On Inn' and the hashers assembled about the fine spread that White Rabbit had laid on in the Offley Recreation Centre. The pack then sat in the bar watching the big screen T.V. trying to spot Knobber in the mêlée of the London Marathon.

At the circle up there was a surprise 20 runs award to Madge who wore her new designer jacket and took her down down well as most of the above for a string of misdemeanours from bingo calling, kissing gate propositioning and gayness in the hash.

I am sure that all of us will be wishing White Rabbit a speedy recovery to the terrible injuries she is suffering and that she will return when better.

On-on to the Saint Georges Run at the George IV Baldock.

Forking Deckchair