The Compasses, Greenfield
Sunday, 17 February 2008
Forking's dress ....
.. as worn by Denis Taylor
Smash n Grab named
What a fabulous weekend, brass monkeys and all that but very bright. I don't know if Saturday or Sunday was nicest, but it was a pleasure just being out and about. Laying the trail was pretty uneventful, but we did bump into one of Penetrator's old running coaches. He knew all about hashing and even knew Austin and Izzy [Also known as Supermini and Wonder Woman - Archive Ed.], so we had a long chat with the guy about them. We could not bring ourselves to walk past the White Hart, so we popped in for a quick pint of London Pride and very nice it was too. We couldn't leave the Compasses without popping in for a pint of equally good Everards Tiger. This is what laying a hash is all about. I thought it wise to mention the red-dresses to the landlord, just in case he got the wrong impression and thought we were a bunch of transvestites.
On Sunday I decided to bike to the hash. It was sunny enough all right but by Christ was it cold. By the time I got to the pub (10 o'clock) none of my appendages felt like they belonged to me. All was OK though because the treasure of a landlady took pity on me and invited me in to warm up. I even got a mug of steaming hot tea and a pleasant chat with the landlord. As the hash gathered, we were getting a bit concerned by numbers as despite the weather there seemed to be so few to us, but in true tradition the Johnny come latelys turned up just in time to bolster the pack. There were eventually twenty one of us.
Donut called the circle. No birthdays, no anniversaries, two hares, and no hazards, but before we get to the run there were plenty of red dresses that I feel require a mention. Firstly there was Count Roadkill who worryingly still looks the most fetching in a red dress. Forking was sporting a little polka-dot fancy. Bell End came armed with two dresses. He chose a slinky outfit in red and gold for himself and passed his reject on to Giblets to wear. The esteemed GM (or grandpa as he was affectionally referred to by the young Megan) was also well turned out. It was quite clear to all and sundry that perhaps the RA had lost focus on the red-dress theme claiming that he had been pre-occupied with sorting out the weather (b@ll@cks I say). Shaggy and CC each wore a picture of a red dress - even more bullox.
Anyway enough of my musing, the on was called and in true Capt F tradition, the first check was laid immediately in front of the pub. The traditional cry of on-inn was uttered by the very predictable but equally honorabubble HM (I only do it to annoy him you know). The false trails at the start were pretty much ignored by the majority of the pack except for Giblets who decides to check out a trail that the hares had completely ignored. No worries as it served to slow him down if only for a few minutes.
Giblets was also guilty of missing the first of many fish-tail checks. This could have blown the start of the run if some subterfuge/creative haring (alright down-right lying) had not been employed by the hares in order to resolve the situation. The trail was pretty uneventful and the pack was mostly kept together by using a series of non-stopping numbered checks. Even the young Megan would have managed to keep up if it had not been for grandpa slowing her down so much. A serious case of cross-dressing was spotted when the polka-dot dress formerly worn by FDC mysteriously morphed itself onto White Rabbit instead.
The pub lived up to its friendly reputation and the beer was of the finest quality. The bread pudding was very tempting, but self-restraint was obviously the order of the day. The closing circle was superb. Lady P has brought along some scrumptious heart shaped short-bread and Bangers n Madge brought some equally delicious samples of his very own sausagemanship. The RA's notebook was crammed full of mysterious scribblings and just about everyone got a down-down for one thing or another. The hares got a well earned down-down got for their superb run. Vicky Corner was christened Smash n Grab for some "previous" which involved walking through a shop front window.
On-On to The Steamer, Welwyn
A break from fish-tails, check hovering in the sunshine
RA spots a pair of old queens being naughty
Call that a red dress Shaggy?