Run No 827

The Cricketers, Weston

Monday, 16th July 2007

Hares: Count Roadkill & Squat 'n' Drop


"Wear The Old 'Uns Out First" they used to say when I was young. It's common knowledge now - that was a long time ago. But true none the less and without giving too much away about my co-hare let me say we are both in line for a winter fuel allowance this year and both found the thought of winter fuel entirely inappropriate as we slogged around North Herts in the heat of the day laying a trail only a few hours before running it. Laying it for Scooper, CC, Munchkin, SAS, Frog Spawn, Muddy Waters and Scrappy - hashers young enough to be our offspring's offspring. Wear The Old 'Uns Out First.

And while I'm in Miserable Old Git mode - indulge me will you it's not my birthday every week although it feels like it - have you tried to keep Scooper and Scrappy in the same field during a hash? It's damn near impossible. And - OK it was unwise - when the trail goes through a flock [check that word... Ed] of cattle, including one with a ring through it's nose and a huge todger, requiring utmost caution from the cautious ..... it becomes completely impossible.

A couple of cunning falsies pulled the hash together past the halfway mark as we started a long haul towards Weston Church, and Lady P fell arse over tit spilling the Hash Camera, and here I have a confession. The trail as planned was to go straight to the church through a field of dried out rape. But when laid the trail went round the field in, it has to be said, error. As the hash spread itself in front of him your hare decided to take the original route - OK a kind of short cut - to make up some ground. Safely followed by Wallah Bollox who was in the know and less safely by White Rabbit who wasn't. Poor Rabbit eventually emerged from the field scratched, weary and bemused.

As the skies darkened, the pub beckoned, tempers frayed. A difference of opinion arose between your hare - and would I fib to you as one of Her Majesty's Scribes? - and Screamer, who hitherto I would have trusted with my life. But no, HM I did not point you in the wrong direction. Unless .... no. Surely Age is not taking its toll?

Down-downs for your Scribe for various reasons (4 before I lost Count), for my virgin co-hare, for "good to see you back" Lunchbox, for Capt F back from his gay festival, Screamer who did not know the run number, for Pussies who went to Willian instead of Weston, and for Caution Container - 50 runs and still a puppy.

The sandwiches and chips came before we had a chance to say:

"On on to Steppingley"

Count Roadkill for Squat & Drop