Run No 794
Sunday 19th November 2006
The Tilbury, Datchworth
Hares: Count Roadkill & Crumpled 4Skin
HASHERS: 16 APRES: 7 NEWEES: 0 MUTTS: 0
BB HIT 'N' PARK VICTIM, POLICE HUNT RABBIT ..
C4S, VIRGIN HARE ..
SCREAMER, CHOOSE YOUR WEAPON ..
SHAGPILE, CRISP DOWN-DOWN
Yours truly, Crumpled 4-Skin, Virgin Hare, arrived at the Tilbury to find the Assistant RA lying prostrate under a large red motor car. White Rabbit refused to accept responsibility for this stunning manoeuvre, so thoughts turned to the Hash.
Count Roadkill advised the Hash that despite today being the anniversary of Christopher Columbus' landing in Puerto Rico, there was but a slim chance of finding any dry land on today's run, words which proved to be only too true. Remarkably it also happens to be the anniversary of the ordination of Pope Hilarius I and in recognition Shagpile agreed to offer up a joke at the first H (for Hilarity) check.
The weather was fine if a little chilly. Smiffo clearly thought the only way to keep warm was to tear off at a lightning pace and as a result managed to find every single false trail that had been laid, along with a few that hadn't.
A few randomly generated Number checks kept the pack together and although the trail was interrupted by thoroughly ploughed fields and paddocks of frisky horses, all went well until Count Roadkill, at the final number check, confused Donut with Stallion and sent Smiffo, Screamer, Big Blouse and "Dave" back along the trail to find someone who was no longer there.
This confusion aside, all arrived safely back at the far too swanky Tilbury [where Screamer was presented with a memento from Thailand to remind her of Southwold, which seemed to be a connoisseur's guide to condoms, whereupon her knees trembled and she fell over: all too confusing for your scribe]
Down Downs were awarded by the GM to the Hares, and by the Assistant RA to Smiffo and Screamer for competitiveness (a misdemeanour that technically took place before the Hash was called to session), to Shagpile (a special crisp down down) for looking like a packet of crisps on the Hash, and to "Dave" for talking work on the Hash (despite having been blatantly asked by the self-same Assistant RA "What line are you in?")
Entrapment on the Hash? Whatever next!
On On to the Three Horseshoes, Norton.
You couldn't make it up could you?