Run No 794

Sunday 19th November 2006

The Tilbury, Datchworth

Hares: Count Roadkill & Crumpled 4Skin

HASHERS: 16  APRES: 7  NEWEES: 0  MUTTS: 0

Yours truly, Crumpled 4-Skin, Virgin Hare, arrived at the Tilbury to find the Assistant RA lying prostrate under a large red motor car. White Rabbit refused to accept responsibility for this stunning manoeuvre, so thoughts turned to the Hash.

Count Roadkill advised the Hash that despite today being the anniversary of Christopher Columbus' landing in Puerto Rico, there was but a slim chance of finding any dry land on today's run, words which proved to be only too true. Remarkably it also happens to be the anniversary of the ordination of Pope Hilarius I and in recognition Shagpile agreed to offer up a joke at the first H (for Hilarity) check.

The weather was fine if a little chilly. Smiffo clearly thought the only way to keep warm was to tear off at a lightning pace and as a result managed to find every single false trail that had been laid, along with a few that hadn't.

A few randomly generated Number checks kept the pack together and although the trail was interrupted by thoroughly ploughed fields and paddocks of frisky horses, all went well until Count Roadkill, at the final number check, confused Donut with Stallion and sent Smiffo, Screamer, Big Blouse and "Dave" back along the trail to find someone who was no longer there.

This confusion aside, all arrived safely back at the far too swanky Tilbury [where Screamer was presented with a memento from Thailand to remind her of Southwold, which seemed to be a connoisseur's guide to condoms, whereupon her knees trembled and she fell over: all too confusing for your scribe]

Down Downs were awarded by the GM to the Hares, and by the Assistant RA to Smiffo and Screamer for competitiveness (a misdemeanour that technically took place before the Hash was called to session), to Shagpile (a special crisp down down) for looking like a packet of crisps on the Hash, and to "Dave" for talking work on the Hash (despite having been blatantly asked by the self-same Assistant RA "What line are you in?")

Entrapment on the Hash? Whatever next!

On On to the Three Horseshoes, Norton.

C4S.
Editors Note: Hilarius - now canonised as St. Hilarius - was consecrated Pope on 19 November 461 and succeeded a very popular and very active pope: not an easy task, but Hilarius had worked closely with Leo (?Pope Sasquatch) and made an effort to model his own papacy after that of his mentor. Hilarius endeavored to spread the doctrine of papal supremacy, interfering in church disputes in Gaul and Spain, writing letters emphasizing this doctrine to church leaders in the East, and combatting heresies wherever he encountered them - a bit like a 5th century Capt Fantaaastic. By and large, however the reign of Pope Hilarius was rather uneventful apart from the confusion over the date of his death. According to some reports he died on 29 February 468 which may or may not have been the extra day in that year because nobody is sure how the Julian calendar was working at that time. Anyway he is an ideal Patron Saint of Leap Year Hashes. He was suceeded by Pope Simplicius but that is another story.

You couldn't make it up could you?