Run # 771

Monday 12th June 2006

The Cross Keys, Totternhoe

Hares: My Little Pony & Nik Nak






It's interesting to imagine how the buttress (heh heh heh... .he said Butt) of hard chalk rock that is Totternhoe Knolls would have looked a thousand years ago. It's interesting to imagine how the H5 would have looked a thousand years ago. (An awful lot younger!!!!!!!):

"In the years after the forces of Roadkyll, Duke of Hashing, occupied much of mainland Britain in 1066, the Normans built the Cross Keys Pub here. At that time, the area would have still borne traces of the trade mark flour outline of a Celtic Iron Age hill check... And like the Celts before them, the Norman hares recognised a commanding position when they saw one. The Norman check, on top of a raised mound, was surrounded by a wall; at first made from timber and later stone; most likely using the nearest stone to hand, "Clunch Stone", a hard chalk with the right properties for carving and ornamental stonework, although it can't withstand wet weather or frost. "Clunch" from Totternhoe was employed inside Westminster Abbey - where it has lasted for 900 years until some light-fingered hares pinched it and ground it down for trail laying.

The Norman hashers levelled the top of the hill creating a wide area of chalk grassland where common spotted and pyramidal orchids grow in profusion among the bird's foot trefoil and tall grasses. The buttress slopes downwards to a series of banks and ditches, home to more orchid species, including national rarities like musk orchid, man orchid and frog orchid. Ray and Dave showed Annie how the bee orchid flowers mimic the bee flies that fertilise them and also where to see twayblade orchids with their strange green flowers and two-stem leaves that give the plant its name."

On the way back to the car park Ringer spotted a southern hawker dragonfly at rest on a dead stem of cow parsley.

A difficult site for anyone with mobility-impairment (all hashers); the path is steep and rough - slippery and dangerous after heavy rainfall. Just the ticket for a Hash. Population of the village is about 1090 mainly older people of which some have lived in the Village or close by all their lives, others moving in to the area over the years. This swelled on Monday to 1100 thanks to the early arrival of swingers club member 5 baaaaah.
The village name has been recorded as long ago as 1086 when it was pronounced from 2 words and spelt Totene' 'hou' meaning a 'look out house' and a 'spur'. This knowledge 'spurred' Captain Faaaaaantaaaaastic to cry out "hou has seen my keys?" After frantic scrabbling he resigned himself to a ride home on the My Little Pony Express.

The 'Knolls' which form part of the village escarpment at one end had at one time been a fine Norman Keep and was considered a fine Motte and Bailey castle. And talking of Baileys, our very own Lady P failed to expose herself for the camera (sigh of relief all round)... .well, some one needed the hashit.
Having chalked up another haring for the H5 ladies, Nik Nak gathered up her grandmotherly self and fled for home lest she become enrolled with the Pump House Clog ladies for another round of twig bashing, thigh slapping, bell ringing flouncing about with 'kerchiefs. Well, we showed them Morris blokes how to dance propah!

PS I stole all these words straight from a dictionary, so I accept no responsibility at all.


My Little Pony (& NikNak)