Run # 753

Sunday 5th February 2006

The Noah's Ark, Shillington

Hare: Capt Fantaastic

HASHERS: 18  ANKLE BITERS: 2  MUTTS: 1  APRES: 6

Knowing that I would spend the whole of Saturday on my feet, I realised that I would have to do something in order to slow down the hash, so I decided that since we were going to run from the Noah's Ark, we would all run in pairs.

Tarzan (Jayne’s new hash name) and Iron Maiden were delegated to run off some thumb-print photos of animals. I needed a mix of flyers, swimmers and walkers. Tarzan was also off to Camden Market, so I asked if she could see if she could get any hand-cuffs in Soho so that the pairs could become truly coupled. Unfortunately the price of hand-cuffs was a bit steep in Soho, so I had to abort that idea.

Anyway, Sunday arrives. The circle is formed called by HM and the hare is called forward. The animal pairs are selected with the aid of an old basket or two and after a manic few minutes everyone is paired off and the hash sets off.

After a few false trails, the hash eventually set off on the correct trail towards Shillington church and to the first check. From here the fliers were all despatched to check out the trail. It was down hill away from the church, followed by a smallish loop and back up to the hill to (you guessed it) the other side of the church.

From here the walkers were despatched and MLP and Private Parts decide that walking is not for them, so they disappear at full steam on the usual false trail alongside the village hall. Aircon is seen performing an Evil Knievel style dare devil stunt, by launching himself off the top of the tall church wall into the arms of BOF.

The route takes the hash down a steep path to the bottom of the hill, where Pongo decides to follow an unmarked path in a direction that would have resulted in a major short-cut. The hare decides to call it false in order to save the run (sorry Pongo this really was done with the best of intentions).

At this point, Tightwad joins the run with Fergus somewhat resembling the HMV dog. The next check is held until, the pack arrives. MLP decides to call on–on despite the absence of any trail. Unfortunately this was on the correct route, so in a fit of pique the hare yells out an expletive. Sorry to anyone that was offended.

At the end of this trail, however was a birthday check, where a cake, some amaretto cream and some strawberry vodka liquer was waiting. The cake & amaretto cream were FAB, but the vodka liquour tasted pretty much like Benylin cough mixture. Yuck!! Once the run is resumed the next check is a four check (i.e. your pairs check). The first three couples are happy enough, but Flo and Overflow don’t like it one bit. However, after a bit of gentle persuasion they decide to co-operate. From here, the hare decides to shorten the run and it’s only a small canter back to the Noah's Ark.

During the closing circle, the Hash Mistress tries to tell some jokes, but the hash are more concerned about the cruel bondage ritual that Tightwad has subjected Fergus to. The ever gallant Pongo tries to come to her rescue, but I think we all probably owe the Hash Mistress an apology for disrupting her circle.

Award were given to the hare and to Jayne for her birthday and then the circle is handed over to the RA. The RA christens Jayne Tarzan for her swinging life-style and other awards are given to Big Blouse for being gay, MLP for I don’t remember what, and Nik Nak for her wheel spin into the pub car-park when she first arrived. Tightwad was also given a down-down for the disgraceful cruelty that he perpetrated on poor little Fergus. There were probably a few more, but memory fades with age and I can’t remember any, so apologies for those that I have missed.

L&K
Capt F

PS Everyone that is planning to come to the Gispert run next Saturday and eat afterwards at the Indian Hut, needs to contact me before Wednesday evening. I am planning to book a table for all those that contact me on Wednesday so if you don’t let me know in advance you may miss out. Please note that the run starts in Stevenage Leisure Park at 6:30pm at the bottom of the railway station steps.