Run No. 720 13th June 2005

chez Capt Fantaastic, Shefford

Runners:  23
Mutts:  -
Ankle Biters:  -
Knitting Circle:  -
Apres:  -
Newies/Returnees:  -

Thought we would do something a bit different and tread paths never trod before, only problem was its Shefford and where have we not been?

Jayne has walked just about every path in the area just recently in preparation for the Playtex Marathon distance moon-walk this Saturday. After consulting the oracle we decide that a footpath somewhere near Clophill was just the ticket.

So WWW and Capt F set off mid Saturday afternoon to lay the run. One hour into the course we reach the aforementioned footpath. The only problem with not recycling a run is that you really don't know what to expect. The other problem with choosing a footpath so far from home is that you are left with few alternatives, so despite the hazards you simply have to press on.

So let's just go though some of the hazards:

  1. Nettles
  2. Long Grass (did anyone spot the snakes)
  3. Barbed-Wire
  4. Electric Fence (fortunately not wired up, so not really a hazard)
  5. An overgrown set of stairs
  6. Guns (i.e. the MI6 military firing range)

If this all wasn't bad enough it was pretty apparent that it was going to be a long, and I mean seriously long run. However, we felt that the county-side was to die for and if nothing else the paths were totally unspoilt, being totally virgin.

So that no one could blame the hares for not giving sufficient warning Capt F knocks up a series of posters depicting the various hazards.

The circle was called by Ringer in the back garden and twenty three runners are assembled. Capt F goes through the hazards and Screamer visibly blanches at the possibility of encountering snakes in the Shefford pampas lands. After a bit of re-assurance she feels better and the ON is called.

Now this is where the first cock-up was made. The hares had forgotten to mention in the circle that transport had been laid for short-cutters. The idea was that they would be transported to a point some ten minutes into the run thereby avoiding the long straight initial leg to the outskirts of Clophill. Oh well!!

The first bit takes us into Campton church where a long falsie has been laid in order to allow regrouping. Somehow the FRBs (G-String & Skidmark in particular) totally miss the falsie and persist in following the correct trail. As a desperate measure, Capt F calls the trail false and demands a held check until the stragglers catch up.

It's ON again and the hash finally reaches the long footpath past Top Farm that eventually takes them to the outskirts of Clophill. Now this is a seriously long stretch and the best way of regrouping after a long stretch is a numbered check. Only problem is we chose twelve. Well it worked, so despite the mutterings the hares didn't really care.

The grass is so long that Mekon starts to suffer from hives. Personally I could not spot anything wrong with the legs (sorry Dan-Dare I know I should not really be looking, but I was only trying to help a maiden in distress). Any way the offer to rub in the hydro-cortisone cream was sadly rejected.

Don't recall much of what went on during the run, but despite all the hazards, no one got injured. I do recall that It'smegmerelda, Iron Maiden and Munchkin were never seen on the run. It transpires that the description of the run had put them off and so they did their own mini-hash.

By the time we got to Parripak, Shagpile is complaining about the smell and a few others are looking a bit shagged out. A quick phone call to Jayne and transport is laid on to retrieve some of the stragglers (i.e. Screamer, Muddy Waters, Shagpile and one or two others).

We finally get back to the ranch after about 1.5 hours. At least there was plenty of booze and Jayne has done a fantastic job by preparing bangers, mash and beans for the hash horde.

After satisfying our hunger and thirsts, the circle is called. Down-downs were awarded to the esteemed hares (Capt F & WWW), Jayne for the grub, and Capt F for his birthday. The esteemed RA, Private Parts also awarded down-downs to G-String for being too darned fit - and for which he deservedly got the Good-Crack award. WWW got one or two more, but he doesn't have a clue what for (did anyone else spot WWW being competitive and trying to out down-down G-String and even worse then raising his arm in a victory salute). Scooper also got one for being sexually confused. There were more, but I don't recall what they were for, so apologies to those that I have missed.

On-on to run 721 Bricklayers Arms, Potton and brought to you by Shagpile & Underlay

Capt F and WWW (aka Walnut Whip Willy)