(Next run is from Capt Fantaaastic's Gaff. It's his birthday so he's laying on some nibbles and booze.)

Please note there has been no editorial input to these Words. You get 'em just as they were writ! - Ed.

Some reet funny go'ng ons hap'en in t'is village last M'nday. Early t'in th' ev'ning a man and a woman turned op and begun stud'ing maps. Marking oot the expansion t' the airport runway I tho'ht. But noo. They begun blobbing floour al'ng th' rood and puting qu'er circles aroond the footpaths. I tho'ht we got some qu'er erns ere.

Two 'oors later they retur'd to pub where th'y waited till sum moor folks join'd em. Funny clothes all of th'm were we'ring. T-shirts w'th perculuar signs on 'em and strange words. Qu'er lot.

'On On' shooted one called the GM. Prob'bly short for 'genetically modified'. Away th'y all run doon th' street and th'n th'y all run back. 'Check it,' was th' shoot'. Funny th' street was named soo why wou'd th'y need to check it? Up the lane th'y run and th'n stoped, another check. Some run oop th' hill, other too th' right, ' False trail' some'ne shouted. Back th'y all coom. What strange gooings on. Away th'y wen' op the footpath to ' right. At ' next corner a few coom back circled roond the last two runners th'n wen' on agan. Proper looney it wer. Up th' hill to the farm th'y wen'. More of th'm running to back th'n running to front. Down the hill to th' village and op footpath to tennis club. Are th'y gooing to play tennis I tho'ht. But noo.

Along path to rood and acroos rood to rape fields. All throo rape fields th'e run, and th'n turned right t' woods. Doon the hill and tho'gh the wood they went, acroos the fields with the sheep, where one wer' he'rd to say ' Are th'y danger'us?' Funny people. On to ' pub whe' th'y formed a circle and som'ne called Big Blose gave drinks to Dead meat for his birthday, to a rabbit for no' knowing th' wood fro' th' trees, to walnut whip willie for being too fit, and to a Mekon for pulling a dog th't wes not ther. Ther' wer' oothers but I forgooten th'm. I wer too busy thinking, ''and th'y call us villagers qu'er''.

Great to see Dead Meat join the knitting circle and even greater to see Merlot back with us.

On On Ringer and White Rabbit (If you think the villagers do not talk like this you try holding a conversation with them.)