(Next run is from The Waggoners at Ayot Green)

For those of you who saw me with Underlay's toy (a GPS gizzmo) at last week's run, you'll not be surprised to learn that I was keen to use it to plan this year's St Georges day run at Watton-at-Stone. Sadly, having done the technical bit and plotted the run, I had to let FKA Duck down as the 'Pork Pie' thing required me to attend my office. Step forth Underlay to the rescue! So she and the noble FKA Duck laid the trail using the GPS gizzmo thingy.

It was good to see so many Hfivers had made the effort and were decorated with the red-and-white cross of St George, and even clutching England flags. Although I had dragged out my blow-up sword and cardboard knights helmet, I'd forgotten that the stupid spotty dog came over all silly at the sight of my shiny helmet. (Don't worry, I'm not going to reuse last year's jokes as well). Having divested myself of said helmet, calm was restored and the wretched dog stopped running away from me.

Circle was called, and the GM broke forth into his welcome speil. Suddenly with no warning he started wittering on about run 713, 113th day of the year, 13 loaves in a bakers dozen and other nonsense! I think he must have had 13 mind-farts! Just hope it isn't catching. Anyhow with that over the run started in the usual manner (except there was no phaffing around at the start for the second week running! Yes, yes, yes! quality haring). With the spring sun gently warming the happy pack, the hash set-off for a 5.4 mile, plus falsies, run through the Herts countryside. 'How did it go', do I hear you ask? Now I don't want to bore the pants off you dear reader, so I'll just say this the once - Smiffo was a FRB. 'Nuff said?

A little bit of road/track running had to be got through before - ohh hang on. Did you know that SADDAM HUSSEIN contains 13 letters (S,A,D,D,A,M,H,U,S,S,E,I,N) and he was captured on 13th December, 2003? Now where was I? Ahh yes; a nice number check just outside a farm caught the first six who had to go to the back. Screamer had a bit of a strop and sat down and declared that Stallion was really sixth and not her. Being a gent, Stallion obliged of course. With the rest of the laggards having caught up, it was checked-out with Count Roadkill and G-String leading the way. A fairly long stretch of track was in store and the pack started to moan at the front hare. FKA Duck looked uneasy and gave me what Miss Marple would call and 'old fashioned look'. Hardly my fault I thought. I didn't tell them to stick to the GPS route.

Shortly after the woods were reached and it all looked rather; number 13 is the smallest prime number which can be expressed as the sum of the squares of two prime numbers i.e. 13 = 22 + 32. Hell. Sorry about that. I don't know what happened there. A splendid patch of shiggy had to be crossed with the more timid hashers skirting round it in the woods (you know who you are Lady Penelope, Big Blouse, Captains Fantaaaastic and Haddock). White Rabbit tried a different route and ended up sinking in. Tee heee!

By now it was nearly 12 o'clock and there was no sign of the pub. However it wasn't too bad because 13 is also called a moon number because the moon moves approx. 13 degrees a day so there are 13 moon months in a year. A final held check delayed the proceedings for as while as Muchkin and Iron Maiden caught up. Then it was a mad dash along the track, over the railway bridge and down the hill into Watton-at-Stone.

Down-Downs went to:

Smiffo and Underlay for 250 runs, me for something to do with a bush, G-String, Smeg and Ringer but I don't know why and Private Parts for being boring! And with that it was all over. But a final thought:

* The only known prime in the Smarandache Mirror sequence i.e.

1, 212, 32123, 4321234, 543212345, 65432123456, 7654321234567,
876543212345678, 98765432123456789,109876543212345678910,
1110987654321234567891011, 12111098765432123456789101112,
131211109876543212345678910111213,
1413121110987654321234567891011121314,...
is the 13th term in the sequence.

ONON to The Waggoners at Ayot Green.

SHAGPILE