Run No. 709 27th Mar 2005

Rowney Warren Car Park, Chicksands

Runners:  18
Mutts:  -
Ankle Biters:  -
Knitting Circle:  -
Apres:  -
Newies/Returnees:  -

(Next run is from The Three Horseshoes at Hinxworth)

Having abandoned the first attempt to lay the runs (Easter Egg run and the main one) due to rain and hail, we set off nice and early at 9 o'clock on the Sunday morning to try again. This time the weather was a tad kinder, and so while Underlay tickled the horror's egg trail, yours truly tried to find what was left of the previous day's dust. Not a lot as it happened, so it was time to leg it around and try again.

Arriving back at the car park, numerous Hfivers could be seem milling around. Shaggy and Sleepy Hollow were busy unloading their chariot as the wheels were no longer round or something, and needed a man in a van to fix it for them. Anyhow the GM did his business (that is, he called the circle, nothing to do with what Mac-the-dog, A.K.A. 'Shoot' seems to do all of the time) and it was time for the ON-OFF. I'm sure you won't be surprised to learn dear reader, that the pack was led most of the time by Smiffo who must be taking some sort of supplement. It's not natural at his age to be that fleet is it?

Shortly into the run Skidmark could be seen tip-toeing along, arm outstretched, nose wrinkled up, holding a full plastic bag. It seems that Shoot had performed again and his nobel owneress had scooped it up. But as G-String remarked, 'if a bear can, why can't a dog?'

The run went very much according to plan. G-String and myself tended to be back haring a lot. G-String 'cos he didn't know where the run went, him only recently having had the mattress surgically removed from his back, and me because I got my knees second-hand from George Burns. My generous blobs of dust caused a problem at one point as FKA Duck and Tight Wad interpreted a liberal blob as a bar. Branching out from the trail they discovered me taking a sneaky short-cut which meant they guessed which way the trail went. Stallion it was revealed, has a cruel streak. He gleefully watched Smiffo, Bed Pan, Screamer, Ringer and a few others disappear down a long path looking for dust while all the while he was stood on a blob. 'How far shall I let them get' I heard him say. Nasty!

Not long after this the ON INN was seen, so it was time to curtail the hard bit and start enjoying the wet bit. Surprise, surprise guess who was nonchalantly ambling around the car park? Yes it was the supreme SAS hasher Captain Haddock. He must have a well cam'd OP somewhere in the woods, I think. Also present now was (S)Meg who seemed to have trodden in something furry. Oh no, sorry. That was her 'dog' Griff that was near her foot.

While the BBQ stuff was dug out and the first beers consumed, the horrors went out for their egg hunt along with hares Underlay and (S)Meg. I'm not sure who found most of the flags but all horrors seem pleased enough with their efforts and were rewarded with lashing of sickly cream eggs. Uck!

GM called the circle again but we were only just into it when the 'Old Bill' hove into sight. PC Plod No 1 advanced menacingly towards the circle, his eyes flashing in anticipation of a bust. PC Plod No 2 gave his companion cover from the safety of his vehicle, just in case he needed to call for back-up. Smiffo, looking shifty was kicking something into the dirt (looked suspiciously like Glucosamine & Chondroitin pills to me - now we know the secret of his fitness!), Donut was muttering 'honest, I found it and was going to hand it in tomorrow' while Lunch Box whispered to his Mrs 'you did buy the dog licence didn't you?'. G-String was probably thinking 'Fees!'

It was all a false alarm though. The Old Bill were just taking time off from a major attack on Beds criminals and were letting their laser speed gun cool down. Down-downs went to hares of course. To Lunch Box who likes the idea of free beer, but was out-witted by the RA who laced it with some disgusting foreign aviation fuel, and also to Skid Mark, Lunch Box again, (S)Meg and me again as it was all my fault the fuzz turn up, apparently!

ONON - Shagpile