Julian: Yoo hoo Sandy did you have a bene weekend, Ducky?

Sandy: Bless you Jules I did. On Sunday I was at Piggington Abbots at a pogy bevvy house where I am ou fait with the tober omee. I saw the strangest thing. A bunch of peculiar people in running valley drags larking about. One nice omi had bare lallies. I would swear they were shaved! A riah shusher do you think?

Julian: Larking about? What were they doing then Dear Heart?

Sandy: Well, they were trolling hither-and-thither all over the shop. I followed at a discrete distance - well you never know do you?

Julian: Were they a naph lot then?

Sandy: No not them, but I did fancy a vada at what they were up to. Anyhow, off they trolled shouting 'On-On' now and then. I get the feeling they was having a charper for something or other. It was such a laugh you know. It had rained so much they could hardly troll along. So much muck on their batts and half way up their lallies! One poor dona called Lady P was left bringing up the rear -

Julian: Saucy! What happened next?

Sandy: Well they seemed to have a dolly time in spite of the mud. I caught a few of their monickers. Shagpile, a bit of a shamsh dispite the nanti riah, was trolling around at the back, Big Blouse was the main jogger, and Ringer the head honcho. Captain Fantaastic was the omni with the smooth lallies and a ette palone had to be watched when parking her chariot - White Rabbit I think. At one point they were kicking their lallies up like a gaggle of wallopers. Muck all over thier eeks and ogale fakes!

Julian: Sounds brutish to me and sure to be naff for your drag. I wouldn't be seen dead doing that in my mauve mish you know.

Sandy: Well they were back at the bijou bevvy house after una hour. It all got a bit meshigner as they stood in the cold having a palaver and throwing bevvies down their screeches. Shagpile and Underlay for being the hares, whatever that may be, Shagpile again for snoring at Exmoor (that Big Blouse is such a brute!), all of the mothers (it was mothers day) and lastly Big Blouse for taking a phone call. What a stish!

Julian: Well you obviously thought it was a fantabulosa fakement. I suppose you will be joining them next week?

Sandy: Nanti dear boy. I overheard their one rule. 'No Poofters!' It looks like Omi-Palonies are not welcome. Shame.

OnOn: I-can-write-tosh-as-good-as-MLP