Saturday morning and my human is up early - good news for me as we're off for a brisk run and walk (he runs, I walk). Job done and I settled down for a day's snoozing as nobody else in the house was up. But not for long - mid morning and up turns another human, looking a bit rough but keen to go out and throw flour down by walls and lampposts. Does this stuff have another use or is it made especially?

We all went on a walk I haven't been on for ages. It gave me a good chance to catch up on my smell-mail. There was one really good one - apparently there was an English Setter, an Irish Wolfhound and a Scots Terrier - but I mustn't digress.

Part of our route was round the lakes where I had great fun with the local residents. The swan was a bit snooty though - wouldn't play but it got the humans yelling at me. They fall for it every time. Then there was a duck that was a bit Tom and Dick and I made out I was chasing it and yes, the humans started yelling at me again - easy, like taking a bone from a puppy.

Finally we finish up back home and I have to confess I was knackered. Mistress appears and gets all embarrassed about it being noon and her just out of her pit.

Next morning we saunter round to the pub next door where there are loads of humans baying. I spotted the human from the previous day and bounded over to say hello. Boy, did he look rough - I mean a real human's dinner. I tried licking some life into him, but it wasn't a total success.

Finally we're off. Now I accept that I knew where we were going, but how hard can this be - left out of the pub and first road on the left. This lot tried everywhere but, and it was a good 10 minutes before had we really gone anywhere. An early shortcut to the stream caused a bit of discussion as the short-cutters arrived first and it was a number check.

Back round to the station and it's under the bridge to avoid crossing the road. Up onto the bridge and a longish lope to a check. Now it was here that things went a bit pear-shaped and there was a quite unjustified attempt to blame me. My human and my humaness (it doesn't feel right calling her my bitch) go off in different directions. I go quietly off with the bitch humaness, on the basis that she didn't have the lead so I could go wherever I felt like going. There's people yelling and calling mobiles all over the place under the misapprehension that I've buggered off and am now completely lost - yeah, likely - me lost?

We fetch up at the Engineer's Arms in Henlow for a quick quaff (I had an ashtray full of a very tasty number) before heading back to the Vicars Inn. The GM awarded down-downs to the Hares for the run and the Super-Secret RA awarded the Good Crack Award (welcome back) to MLP, and a down-down to the GM for just about everything else.

OnOn
Mack (with a small contribution from G-String and Ringer)