Run No. 651 8th February 2004
The Bell, Sandy
Ankle Biters: -
Knitting Circle: -
In the early days of World War 1, the councilors of Ley Green decided not to help the cause of an invasion by the Germans and removed all road signs to said parish. Now, ninety years and one World War later they are waiting for a council meeting to replace said signs.
The day the Hare recce'd the run coincided with the day release of the local village idiot college. Asking for directions was not very successful. I asked for directions to Ley Green 3 times and was sent to Tea Green twice and Breachwood Green. I eventually found Ley Green, more by luck than topography but found a village that seems happily left in 1914. I think that Del Boy must have supplied my home printer. The map I printed off somehow seemed not to relate to the village I was in, it had somehow printed the map upside down, so going uphill from the pub just didn't work at all. It took me sometime to work that one out.
The circle was called with the Hash looking a bit short on numbers, but what worked for the Germans also held up the Hash, although most found it eventually, G-String being last but one to find the village. Threats to the well being of the Hare and pleading to be given directions to the pub (sounds familiar!)
The Plough at Ley Green must be the hardest pub in the country to find. I only live one and a half miles down the road and I missed the turning. Sadly I was followed by a few other lost hashers. Some minutes after eleven the circle was called and the 'on-on' was given, only for a few more lost hashers to arrive. All present and the first falsie found.
The Hash set off with Underlay finding both of the falsies from the front, but it was Ringer who was first to the right trail (only one he did find!) and the pack was away from the pub. Underlay seemed either to be avoiding members of the Hash or was on something, she was in front for the best part of the run, through mud, water, sludge (whatever happened to him?) over the fields past the deer, through the lake and down through the farmyard and onto a held check.
Down the hill the pack went and across the fields, with Bell End practicing his Marathon sprinting finish in order to catch up. Down the road and along a track which proved to be a falsie. By now the pack were well spread out and Pongo had found the right trail along a well hidden footpath. Well done Pongo you were leading the pack for some way before the rest finally caught up.
The pack held - who should turn up but Pecker on the bike (not the Hash bike I hasten to add) that must be the latest he has arrived. It was left to Shaggy and Stallion to find the last trail from the check and along with G-String found the on inn.
The inevitable Shiggy appeared as a river of mud, and the comment of the week must be by the hasher who asked, "Has it rained a lot around here in the last two days?". No, I won't name Him. The pub came into view before the 'on-inn' was found so it was blow the flour let's get back to the pub. A good scenic run with sun, wind and a head butting contest between G-String and his mutt. I think the mutt won.
On a freezing hillside in Bedfordshire the circle was called, FKA Duck, Shagpile and Pongo were awarded numbered runs, various down downs were received for finding the RA's displeasure and the on was called to Wednesday's Gisbert run in Stevenage. Oh and Arthur was given his hash name of 'Private Parts', him apparently being partial to tinkering with military airplane equipment.
Awards for F'KA Duck aka Fcuk a Duck or any other derivation of his given hash name. Despite his name he has completed 101 runs. ‘Down downs' for Nik Nak for arriving drunk on the hash, G-String for making depilatory remarks such as "Imac Imac", and Pooper for wearing outsize shorts.(I think they were his Dad's)
The Hash dispersed leaving a few blobs of flour; silence and the parish council to meet to decide if they want to erect some signs so people can find the bloody place!
ON-ON FK A DUCK & White Rabbit