Run No. 648 18th January 2004
The Green Man, Stanford
Ankle Biters: -
Knitting Circle: -
No Words submitted by the hare this week, so your long suffering Scribe has cobbled this report together:
A large number of the H5 family turned up at Stamford with expectations of a good run. Were they disappointed? I'll let you be the judge dear reader.
The GM called the circle promptly at 11. At 2 minutes past 11 a text was received from Cunning Linguist asking if she was at the correct pub as there were no hashers where she was. 3 minutes past 11 and Cunning Linguist found a flock of hashers 10 yards away in the other car park!
Anyway to the run. The hare (he long on beer belly but short on typing fingers), rather than indicate the direction of the ON OFF promptly drew a Check mark at the car park entrance. Error! This of course allowed the pack the opportunity to run a short falsie, about face and then be presented with a glorious view of the pub. ON INN was the cry! But no. The kindly H5 family took pity on this basic of haring errors and trotted off in search of the trail, hopeful of evidence of sophistication in trail laying from this miserable hare.
Almost immediately FRB Smiffo found dust and bellowed the ONON - nice to see Smiffo at the run, he having come straight from the airport and umpteen hours flight from Aus!. This trail led to a bar check. A fair bit of milling around ensued before the hare indicated that the pack needed to enter the adjacent wood, through a two strand wire fence! Fortunately there were no injuries, but a few hashers chose to use the footpath which was just a few feet away! A pleasant bit of woodland running followed and a beer stop was found. It being the hare's birthday he had kindly laid on a drop of booze (and probably hoped that by getting the pack pissed his rotten haring would be over-looked). Not-My-Bitch had blotted her copybook once again by trying to steal parts of the wood and managing to damage a few hashers legs in the process. As blood was drawn, her owner could be sure of the RA's retribution later.
It was then out onto the road again, with Pecker, Knobber and Five-Barr taking the lead. The next check was held which allowed the knitting circle to catch up. This was important as no back hare had be provided (shame really. The back hare might have been able to write Words). Now the trail led down to the river which gave the four-legged hashers a chance to cool off, and the two-legged hashers the opportunity to get cold standing around watching. Fortunately there wasn't much more to endure. Back up the hill toward the main road went the pack and then a short detour through a park meant that it was all over.
If I were to award marks out of ten for the run, I'd give it 3 at best. However, if only the Words had been submitted by the hare, I reckon it would have been one of the best runs I ever been on and a 10 would be deserved.
Down-Downs went to the birthday hare, others that I have forgotten as it was so long ago, and bizarrely, two festering hashits were awarded to the GM/Scribe, accompanied by a horrendous down-down of creme de menthe and lager. All for being married to the insane Not-My-Bitch's owner! Must have words with the RA - the words will be "You Bastard!"
ONON - Shagpile